And, Another Hour of My Life, Gone.

This is my new favorite website: TackyWeddings.com. Hard to believe, most of it, but highly entertaining!

And He's Very Tall.

Today I realized one more Nice Thing About Being Married.

After you have been together for a while as a couple, you develop a automatic plan of action together that eventually requires no thought or discussion, you just do it.

Tonight the Mister and I ate dinner out with the staff, to celebrate some birthdays, and, frankly, because I love that restaurant and hadn't eaten there since Christmas. This particular place has an extensive appetizer menu, and because I have trouble choosing just one, we usually skip the main course and just load up on those. And the Mister goes right along with that.

One of the many reasons I married Himself is that he never orders the same thing as me. Wouldn't dream of it. Because what would be the point? We're going to share, and this way we get to try TWO dishes. So when he asks if I'm ordering the salmon, it's because he really wants the salmon himself, and will only order it if I am not. He knows he'll be getting salmon either way. If I'm not ordering the salmon, he's free to get it, and I'll get something he's eyeing. We do this with only a couple of words exchanged and some strategic planning. ("Okay, if I get the scallop appetizer, then YOU get the salmon main, and I won't be getting all fish and you can have some of my steak.") The other part of the equation is that you cannot order something the other hates without permission. The Mister always had my permission to order the lamb, since I hate it and won't cook it and it's the only way he's ever going to get any, but he has to order a first course that I like. Similarly, I never order anything with black olives or clams in it, because he hates them. And he just does it, no muss, no fuss.

I once had a boyfriend who took me to a fancy-shmancy place and had the exact same thing as me (after I had ordered) and I felt cheated because I was only going to be tasting a small fraction of the menu. So I appreciate that the Mister has embraced this policy as his own.

Also, the Mister and I have a firm "Quid Pro Garlic" Policy: "The eating of aggressive garlic shall be openly and freely disclosed in order that the other party may address the garlic imbalance and eat in a similar manner". So Caesar Salad is usually shared. (There is particularly garlicky Lebanese restaurant we adore that is so egregiously garlicky that we've agreed to only eat there when the other one can too, because there is no way you'd ever be able to achieve that level of garlic any other way.) I value a man who can see the wisdom in never having more garlic than me at one sitting.

There are many other reasons that I like being married to Himself, but as the only married couple at the table, I thanked my lucky stars that I got to have the bacon wrapped scallops AND the fiery pork all at one go.

Amazing Race 14, Ep. 6

Was it just me or was that episode sort of....bland, especiallly for being in India? Other than Lukes tears for the children and Jaime crying because of the poverty of animals, there was none of the emotional tsunamis we Race fans have come to expect in India. It seemed to me that this wasn't a particularly well designed leg...there wasn't much of a chance for anyone to speed ahead or get lost or even lose sight of the pack much. The Flight Attendants never stood a chance.

I was sad to see those two go, actually. I liked their non-whiney, down and dirty attitude to getting things done.

Wow! Sober locals! And I do mean sober. Those camel-wranglers barely cracked a smile the whole time those fools were using their shirts to transport camel feed.

I'm getting a little tired or Jamie's "don't you speak English" freak out in every country. Because surely she had to know that she would be travelling through foreign countries where English isn't routinely spoken when she signed up for this. Maybe I'm just getting tired of Jamie.

Victor and Tammy have grown on me since Romania. I didn't think I'd ever get to like him, but he's proven himself to have learned a bit from his mistakes, and his obvious delight in everything certainly has gone a long way in redeeming himself. And Tammy's megawatt smile helps, too.
But they can lay off the "we're breaking stereotypes" thing....I have no preconcieved notions about attractive, educated, Asian-American lawyers whatsoever, so my expectations are nil.

That Indian greeter was a hoot! I swear I had about 4 boys in my Grade 8 music class do exactly the same thing with the recorders we were learning on. You'd be surprised at how much noise 4 13 year old boys can make with 8 recorders up their noses.

Good on yer, Mel! With all the death-rattle wheezing during the camel task, I thought for sure he'd be India's first victim this race, but he pulled it out and did just fine. Plus, I'm all soft for a guy who feels badly about yelling at a cab driver (Jamie, take note.) and he was all proud of himself because his son was proud of him. That was nice.

That camel kick must have hurt like crazy. Did you see that guy go down like a sack of potatoes?
And the camel was so awesomely casual about it, he barely stopped chewing.

Next week: I would happily endure dehydration and exhaustion if it meant I could faint in Phil's arms. I would hope my partner would make sure I was wearing lip gloss right beforehand.

News Flash

While I was picking up a pizza for tonight's dinner, I overheard the following:

Other Lady Picking Up Pizza: I ordered two large veggie pizzas, without cheese. How come they are the same price as they would be with cheese.

Pizza Guy: Because the way we charge, we base the price on a basic cheese pizza, and then add more for the toppings; we don't charge less just because you don't get one topping.

Other Lady: Well, if you didn't charge for the cheese, you would be encouraging people to eat more healthy. Shouldn't you try to get people to eat better?

Pizza Guy: Lady, this isn't Weight Watchers. I care if people eat more pizza.

Ways That I Can Tell That It Is Spring

It's not quite spring here yet; after all, it's still only March, and last year we had one of the worst snowstorms of the whole winter on the first weekend of April. (It was spectacularly horrible.) But it's definitely on it's way....

• Parking spots have freed up again. In the winter, they have to pile the snow in the lots somewhere, and it usually ends up in a couple of parking spots that are out of commission until it all melts. The more it snows, the less places there are to park. I noticed at the library today that all the spots are usuable now.
• Kids playing outside. It's March Break this week, and the weather has been very mild, which means road hockey, skipping, hopscotch and some serious sidewalk chalking.
• Neighbourhood cats. All winter the other cats have stayed away (or home, if they were wise) and Toby has pretty much had the perimeter of the estate secured. Now there are cats wandering into our yard at all hours, and Toby is in a constant state of vigilance, skewering them with a penetrating stare in an effort to show them who's boss.
• I can go outside as is. The lengthy and exhausting preparations to walk out the door are no more. This evening I went to go get Thing 2 at a friends house, and I just picked up my purse and went. (Mind you, I should have changed into shoes from my slippers, but even that seemed like it was too much effort.)
• You can go outside and breathe deeply and it doesn't hurt. Also, it smells outside...all good smells, like damp earth and water and rain and outside. In the winter, everything is frozen and all I can smell on my walks is people's clothes driers running.
• Asparagus, rhubarb and Easter Creme Eggs in the stores.
• The floor at the salon stays clean. In the winter, we have to mop the floor about 4 or 5 times a day, or else the slush and salt make the place look like emptying waterbeds in there. Kind of slippery, too.
• I had to buy new sunglasses the other day. It was sunny, and I couldn't find any of the 17 pairs I bought last year.
• We turned the clocks ahead. Usually this kills me, as losing an hour of sleep is right on up there with me losing an internal organ on the list of "Possible Things I Do Not Want To Lose". But I was in Florida, on holidays, and slept for 12 hours every night and had a nap every day, so I only would have noticed the hour gone if I had been awake for it. (Note To Self: Do that every year.)
• I have to sign the kids up for camp. Summer camps are organized so that you have to sign up your kids and pay for them by the end of March, or they will be full and you will have two very bored, very pissed off children in August.
• I hate my clothes. Happens every year to me about this time. I've been wearing the same stuff day in, day out, for six months now and I'm sick of each and every article of clothing. But it's still not time for t-shirts and capris, so I just have to put up with it and will probably break down and buy something pink that will look so lovely but will have to have a cardigan over it.
• I am not so stabby.

Vegetables, Smegetables.

Since this week is March Break, and our kids are off school, (and, apparently, the ONLY family in the entire province that has not gone to the Caribbean for the week. I'm sure you've heard all about it on the news.) we took the kids across the border to do some shopping in Michigan for the day. The Mister and I are off on Mondays, so it worked out fine.

We spent a bit of time at Hollister, which is the Holy Grail of retail for our children, since there isn't one in our city. (Hollister, in case you've never been there, is dark, loud, expensive and they spray all the clothes with their own cologne, which is pleasant enough at first, but eventually strangles your entire sinus cavity with it's overwhelming hipness. It's sort of like quicksand for your nose.) After that we went to Meijer's, which we don't have in Canada, and the Loudshoes family enjoys very much. (Just to tell you, Meijer's is just like Wal-Mart, a department store and grocery store all in one, but with the bright shiny allure of novelty. At least for us.) Now, I've gone on at length before about how thrilling I fine American grocery stores, and my children are similarly enraptured. We spent ages marvelling over what inventive cereal flavors Americans come up with, and in awe of what these people can do to a frozen pizza. It seriously entertained us for hours.

But what really fired us up was this:

Diet Coke Plus, a new (for us, anyway) kind of Diet Coke with vitamins and minerals. Because it's never too late to throw a lifejacket into the Titanic of nutrition.

Amazing Race 14, Ep. 5

What a bunch of cold weather wimps. At first I thought that the thermometer in Novosibirsk said -30°C, which is definitely ass-cracking cold, but then another shot said it was -4°C. Here in Canada, we start pulling out the flip-flops and fire up the BBQ at -4.

My List of Things To Master Before Going on The Race continues to grow, with "be able to run without passing out after 30 seconds" joining "Learn Chinese", "Learn to row a boat" and "Be able to make fire with wet sand and your own urine". (Oh, sorry, that last one was for "Survivor".) I already know how to drive a standard and say "thank you" in Russian, Japanese and Irish.

More drunken locals!! This is decidedly a new theme this season! Pity they didn't come to southwestern Ontario during the May 24th holiday, we could provide plenty for them.

The producers must love me, because PHIL IN HIS SKIVVIES!!! That was just for me, I know.
Christmas is early this year.

I'm glad the flight attendants aren't out, I hadn't realized how much I liked them until I thought they might be gone. They just put their heads down and get the job done; I like that. And the one that ran in her thong? She's some kind of woman, that one. Running in a thong isn't very pleasant, I imagine; Big Liver Girl did it once and said she thought she might have set her bum on fire from all the friction. (Thing 1 and I argued over who would have to do that Roadblock, because everyone knows I have no shame, but she would look much, MUCH better in her underwear than me. Plus, she would probably be able to run without having a heart attack, whereas me? not so much.) The two sisters are kind of whiney, they don't seem to be enjoying this very much.

Little Ballerina had a big booming manly voice, didn't she?

Best Line of the Night: "Any place that has that many consonants in it is not warm."

That third groom/soldier looked like he was about 14. Maybe he should have been marrying Little Manly Ballerina at his fake wedding.

I'm a little confused over Margie and Luke being mad that Victor and Tammy didn't wait for them. Isn't this the team that U-Turned Amanda and Kris last week, causing them to be eliminated? Isn't, you know, going ahead of another team part of the race too?

Those were some really strange looking snow plows. Like, Dr. Seuss snowplows. Those crazy Russians!

Next week: India! As we have seen in the past, India is kriptonite for Racers, at least one team just dissolves like the Wicked Witch of the West in India.