How I Spent My Day

Back in the summer the girls and I went to a small town near here that has the, and I mean, THE, most wonderful junk store in the entire world. I could spend all day in that place; it is spectacular. And for 2 bucks, I got a 1975 Eaton's Catalogue, an impressive purchase, I assure you. (If you are not Canadian, you would not be familiar with the iconic Eaton's Catalogue, which was a fixture for many, many years in every household, like the Sears Catalogue in the States. I'm not sure if out-of-date Sears Catalogues were as favored for use as hockey goalie pads like the Eaton's catalogue was.

I spent hours with this catalogue, it is entirely fascinating.

The womens' fashions are, as expected for the mid-70's, uniformly horrible.

Faith and begorrah! That's a LOT of green. The heading is "Durable Knits", for those of you who like your clothing to withstand, I don't know, a rip-roaring St. Paddy's Day.

Those wobbly heads are not the fault of the catalogue, but merely the result of me learning how my scanner works. Anyway, despite her giddy smile and broken neck, I think the one in the middle is seriously in danger of losing her shit altogether, because she is on her way to a very special occasion wearing only a bedspread.

I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty sure I had the outfit in the middle, and was mighty chuffed about it too. That was a particularly omnipresent colour in the 70's, and a highly unflattering one it was, too. "Yes, let me have something in a dull brown, but put some orange in it....now, a bit of sludgy red, almost like dried blood.....maybe a bit of ear wax gold....perfect! Now, lets make lots of polyester out of it! Make sure it's durable!" The outfit on the right looks very, um...resistant to the human form. Almost like it was made out of cardboard and plaster of paris.

From the "Communist First Ladies Collection". Clearly, Raisa Gorbachev did her shopping out of the 1975 Eaton's Catalogue.

This is as racy as the Eatons' catalogue gets. The one on the left with the peach polyester nighty, has a decidedly "come-hither" look on her face, and the kneeling one either has a very short nighty on or has forgotten her pants. The one besider her must be the fastest one of the bunch, because she isn't even wearing sleeves, the hussy. I can just feel that slinky, slimy nylon.

And JUST when you think the Eaton's catalogue is heading straight down Sodom and Gommorah Boulevard at a hundred miles an hour, you turn the page and realize that all is well...

because this nightwear would firmly quash ANY ideas of sexiness the previous page might have stirred up. Honestly, these are 'The Birth Control You Wear'. Although, the lady second from the right might be wearing the equivilent of Clown Lingerie, I don't know. I do know that the fabric these are made of work up some hellish static electricity, and one would be warned to think long and hard before making contact with another human being. (Not that wearing one of these would bring that occurance about.)

There is much to be thankful for in the 21st century, not the least of which is the re-discovery of natural fibers, and flame-retardant fabric.