Amazing Race 17, Episode 11

Yay Nat and Kat! Good on 'em....they raced well and consistently.... It was a satisfying, if kind of boring, finale. Try as they might, the producers couldn't muster much suspense, since Nat and Kat left the studio before Brooke and Claire even got there.

I vaguely got the Sancho Panza reference, and would have guessed "Quixote", but it took me a while....I kept thinking of Pancho Villa, who was a Mexican revolutionary general, which would have taken me God knows where in LA instead of to that studio.
I'm not going to rag on Thomas for not knowing that answer; adrenaline and Killer Fatigue will mess with your head something awful.

Poor Thomas and Jill, I did feel for them, she was palpably disappointed at the Amazing Bathmat Stage. I would be too, if after all that I lost because of a misguided cabbie. I do think that cab driver was messing with them....."I have GPS!" What rock has he been living under that he'd never heard of the Internet? My dad, who is the most neanderthal of techno-peasants, uses Google.

The Powers That Be probably thought that last memory task would provide a bit more spice to that episode than it did, and it likely would have, had there been more than one team there at a time. Can you imagine Nick or Chad doing that? Good times.

I'm not especially afraid of heights, but that bungee jump would have freaked me right out. When Kat was waiting for Nat, and just hanging there for what seemed like forever? I would have entertained the idea of a small, personal nervous breakdown. And I would have screamed just as long and as loud as Brooke and Claire, too. Good on Nat for sucking it up and doing it. Again, I think the producers were counting on a little more drama there, and no one delivered.

Nice to see Bob Eubanks is still getting work. I liked when Brooke and Claire squealed "You're out biggest idol!" and he replied "Good, you're mine too!!"

I, for one, appreciate hugely that this was not an entire season of "Diabetics Can Do Anything!" It was mentioned a couple of times, and that was it, which was great. I pretty much assume that little people, deaf people, diabetics, one-legged people, elves, Wiccans, people with webbed toes, people who bark like Labrador Retrievers and lesbian Eskimos can do anything they put their minds to. Just race, dammit. When a quadriplegic wins this thing, then I'll be impressed.

Just to tell you, Season 18 starts on February 20th! Can't wait!

Amazing Race 17, Episode 11

That ending was emminently satisfying....it wasn't at all tense, and that nutsack Nick is off my screen for good. Sorry I had to see Vicky go.

Did you notice in that last confessional that Nick was all "we know what our flaws are and we have to work on them"? Actually, Nick, the big flaw in that relationship is you. She has nothing to answer for except that she's still dragging your sorry ass all over the place. She did say "it can only get better", which is a not a rousing endorsement of any relationship, if you ask me.

I can only surmise that Nick and Vicky were a gazillion hours later than everyone else. It was daylight when the other teams were checking in, and I figure the Ickys didn't do the white water rafting because it was dangerously dark. I did like that they made them clean that tank, like they said "you are hopelessly behind everyone else, and we didn't make you do that last Speedbump, but that tank isn't going to clean itself, so get to it and do something useful before we eliminate you altogether."

That white-water rafting looked like F-U-N fun! I really liked the wacky, Korean Music of Hilarity that went with that segment.

Those were the cleanest subway stations I have ever seen in my life. Did you see the floor at the one they took from the Army base? It was shiny.

Thomas would be so much more interesting if he didn't take himself so seriously.

Brooke one of those people who gets MORE hyper the MORE tired she gets. I think she would be an incredible team mate for something like this, but in real life I would only be able to take her in single servings.

Thing 1 and I would have rocked that ice skating challenge. (So would Vicky. Just sayin. Nick would have sucked, said it was stupid and then blamed her.) Because, by law, every Canadian knows how to skate! (One time the Mister and I found ourselves on a frozen pond in a ski village in Colorado spontaneously teaching a bunch of Texans how to skate. It's not a very natural motion, and people who don't know how to skate did exactly what Thomas did, which is to try to run on skates. It doesn't work, but it gives the rest of us a good laugh.) Claire did surprisingly well for someone who can't skate, because those l-o-o-o-o-ng blades are a bit of a challenge.

Best Line of the Night: "I need to toilet!"

Also, I like Snarky Jill very much! When Thomas didn't want to ask someone for directions because they were "too old", she replied "how about that guy? Is he in your age range?"

Next week....Heights!
And just to tell you? My money is on Nat and Kat.

Until the finale!

Amazing Race 17, Episode 10

That was, perhaps, the most disappointing Non-Elimination Leg since Flo and Zack got a pass in Season 3. I think they should let Vicky run the rest of the Race (maybe with Gary or one of the first guys out) and let Nick float around that harbour in Hong Kong for the rest of the time. It did sound as though Phil was unhappy about it, too.

Yikes, but that is a toxic relationship....when Vicky said at the beginning that she's getting better at "calming Nick down", Thing 1 and I looked at each other with big eyes and our mouths in little "o"s. Vicky, honey, the only one responsible for Nick's demenor is Nick. Just to tell you. It's bad enough he berates you, belittles you and provides no emotional support whatsoever, he lay down and quit while complaining he'd had nothing to eat all day while you did that roadblock and puked because of it. That's not a partner, that's ballast.

I think the only positive thing Nick has done on this whole race is to make Thomas look good enough in comparison that I could handle him and Jill winning this whole thing without crying.

Even though Brooke is as hyper and frenzied as a sugar-jacked 3 year-old, I just love her. And that Claire is one tough cookie....she really has had the worst Roadblocks. (Can you imagine if Nick had gotten that watermelon to the face? He'd still be whining about it.) But, why, for the love of God, did she think that Roadblock had anything to do with karaoke??? The clue said "peckish" !! It's in a restaurant!! Other people were eating!! And one of the Basic Rules of the Race is "Never accept a food challenge in Asia".

I freaking LOVED those other diners in the restaurant! I imagine they were rounded up and made to sit there all day, but man, they were hilarious when someone got the challenge right!

The Amazing Editors yet again get kudos from me...when Vicky said "I hate Chinese food", they cut right to the chef guy looking very despondent and sad, like he was personally hurt by her remark. I also liked the Amazing Cameramen getting shots of the pertinent signs during the Ding Ding challenge, and Jill and Thomas arguing about what they were supposed to be seeing.

What will happen to those parakeets? Why did they need to be delivered? And why did they need to be entertained and kept happy? I'm thinking the worst here, people.

I noticed that Jill said at the start that they hadn't seen any racers that day or the day before, and I've read that the "eat/sleep/mingle" portion of the pitstop has been eliminated. You hardly hear any racers even mention other teams, which has made for a nice dynamic this time around. I've really liked that the teams don't focus on each other, and just do the race. It would also explain why Nat has not sereptitiously poisoned Nick with a syringe of insulin in his sleep.

Until next week!
P.S. Apparently, they're starting filming of another season this week, with teams from seasons 11-17. I hope there are cowboys.

Amazing Race 17, Episode 10

That was okay, I'd had enough of Chad and Stephanie anyway. I was worried Brooke and Claire would be out, so the outcome is fine by me.

It's that point in the game where I'm watching the opening credits and seeing teams that make me ask Thing 1 "who the hell is that?".

I much prefer a W-Turn to a single U-Turn; it means that one team does not have a target stamped on their foreheads, and there's still some suspense at the Amazing Bathmat. And it was very nice to see people using the U-Turn as a strategy in the game, rather than a weapon of personal malevolence.

Apparently, Chad did not go to Notre Dame, because he does not know the difference between a PhD and an MD. I'm sure they would have told him that there. And remember, Chad, YOU were planning on U-Turning those two if you had the chance, too.
Chad did impress me a bit at the Pitstop with his reaction to being U-Turned; I expected him to whine about it not being fair, and then fling himself down on the Amazing Bathmat and beat his tiny fists on the Bangladeshi ground. At least he acknowledged it was part of the game.

Can we talk about Nat and Kat during the Talking Head confessionals? Because the blonde one looked, as my mother would say, like she had been dragged through a hedge backwards. It certainly looked like it was hot and muggy and seriously sweat-producing there, but man, she looked rough. I wanted to have a shower and a good night's sleep just looking at her.

Was that band at the Pitstop all playing the same tune?

Why did Jill and Thomas run to the Amazing Bathmat? They had a seven hour lead ahead of any other team, why not stroll for once?

That was the first time I've seen Brooke and Claire get even the tiniest bit snarky with each other there, and it was very short lived. I tell you, that Brooke is way tougher than she looks. "I'm going to go through this like a spider monkey!" was one of my favorite lines of the night. Also, when Stephanie bent over to shout "Shut the hell up!" right into Chad's ear during the brick task...I liked that one a lot, too.

Next week? Nick is officially dead to me. Seriously, he's just mean and stupid. Saying things in the heat of the moment out of frustration is one thing, but saying things to your partner designed to be hurtful and belittling is completely another. Do you think Nick and Thomas could be out and we could get Jill and Vicky to run the rest of this together?

Until next week!

Amazing Race 17, Episode 9

I realized about half way through this episode that there wasn't anyone I really wanted to see out. As much as I dislike Chad, I don't mind Stephanie, and I couldn't wish for their elimination on their engagement day. Man, sleeping in for TWO hours and still coming in first??? You've used up all your karma for this life-time, I think.

On a side note, even if I was going to say "yes", I'd hate to be proposed to in a situation that dictates that I'd pretty much have to. I know those two have already bought a house together, and likely have already decided to be buttheads together for life, but I'd still want to preserve the idea that I had a choice. The status change to "engaged" was cute, though.
( A client once told me about her sister who was dating a guy for a few months, and he seemed to think things were more serious than she did, because he got down on one knee and pulled out a ring at his family's Christmas dinner. She was mortified, and had to say "can we talk about this later" and left. I certainly would never marry anyone who knew me so little as to get between me and my dessert. )

I'm so sorry to see Gary and Mallory leave; I just loved them. But holy shit, NINE hours?? I think you could see Oman in it's entirety in nine hours. (BTW, are there any women in Oman? Other than the few we saw at their homes in the water-delivery task, I don't think I saw any the whole episode.)

Yay! Jill found her voice! Telling Thomas to shut it when he was yammering about directions was very sweet. "Am I from here??" I wish she did more of it. Thomas seems to have had his sense of humor surgically removed at Notre Dame.

Well, old "Ghana Nick" seems to be at the party for the duration. If my partner ever told me to "shut up", under any circumstances, let alone on television, I'd sit down and pull out my book and not get up until Phil came to get us.

Thank you, Amazing Editors, for the juxtaposition of Nick saying "they're probably laughing their heads off at us right now" and then cutting to shot of Brooke and Claire cackling like Evil Overlords.

Speaking of Vicky, OF COURSE nothing frightens her! I'll bet she rappels 300 feet down the face of cliffs every day before her first coffee! And I really like the way she dealt with the clue-eating goat. I would happily run the race with you any time, Vicky, and don't worry, I will cheerfully be in charge of taking care of bugs.

I wonder if the producers thought that the teams would be closer together, because that market would have probably been more of a challenge when it was crowded and everything was open. By the time Nat and Kat and Mallory and Gary were finding Ali Baba, he seemed to be the only stall open, which made it very easy to find. It's a good thing they did not have smoke detectors in his little shop, because they'd be going off all night in that little shop.

I would very much like for one of the all-female teams to win, not because I particularly think two women should win this for once, but because I don't want any of the douchy boyfriends to win it.

Until next week!

Amazing Race 17, Episode 8

That was sweet....After all the pissing and moaning Kevin did about how lame his father was, I loved that the two of them were out because of Kevin's mistake. (Although, to be perfectly fair, Michael could have read that clue, too.) Now, even though Kevin got on my last nerve whining about his dad, and Michael seems like a nice guy, he's not the one I'd take on the race with me; this was not a "two person team", this was a "one person team with luggage".

I was wondering why Nick and Vicky didn't have a Speedbump this leg, because they came last in the Non-Elim last week. But then I read on the "interwebs" (which is what my mother calls the internet) that there was a judging error in the music task last week (with the pianos) and they lost a ton of time because of that. They didn't make them do the Speedbump because of it.

Nick, Nick, Nick....you seemed to have learned your lesson from your meltdown in Ghana, but then you reverted right back to your old dickwaddy self in St. Petersburg. For someone who thinks that they can drive to the Arctic Circle from west Africa, you've got some nerve calling anyone else a "dumbass", let alone your rock-star girlfriend who has proven to be completely capable of handing you your ass several times on this race, but has refrained from doing so.

I did like his story about his grandmother's "Clown Room".... that explains a LOT about old Nick, right there.

Speaking of Clowns, I'm so sorry the Clowns from season 4 were not there for the plate spinning task, because they'd have finished that in about 12 seconds flat. While juggling bowling pins.

Hard to believe Thomas did not learn to spin plates or play Russian folk songs on an accordion while wearing an enormous, red clown nose at Notre Dame. I loved that Jill seemed to be getting the hang of the accordion fairly quickly, but they had to bail because of him.

Chad continues to charm, no? Too bad he was busy laughing at his girlfriend missing the figurine to read the clue properly and take a cab to the church. What a tool.

When I saw Phil collapsing like a sack of potatoes at the Russian bowling task, I was so hoping that the other team mate would have to stand on that little platform during the event. Then Stephanie could have nailed Chad in the nuts a couple of times while appearing to try to do it properly.

Russian taxi drivers are harsh, man, demanding the full fare and not letting you off because you "really have to be somewhere." This isn't the first time this has happened, either....remember the stuntman brothers a couple of seasons ago? They tried to pay their cabbie in watches and compasses, and that bastard held out for cash too. (By the way, I calculated those taxi fares at around $325 US. What the hell?? Did Michael and Kevin call that taxi two days before??)

Love Brooke and Claire.....she's such and enthusiastic spazz, and Claire reads the clues. Kevin and Michael could learn a lot from those two.

Until next week!

Amazing Race 17, Episode 6

Man, am I enjoying this season! Diabolical tasks and beautiful scenery and a very low quotient for team-induced drama. This is how it should be.

I realized as Nick and Vicky switched Detours for the second time that they were out. And I also realized how much I didn't want them to be out. They are not the brightest bulbs on the chandelier, but they have an endearing self-deprecation that makes me like them very much. Also, she has rocked so many physical tasks while having asthma, and he obviously took the whole Roadblock "drag" mix-up with such good humour that I was really glad they have another chance.

Oh, Anonymous Russian Babushkas, how I love you all. Those women were the best thing about the night, I tell you. I'm so glad their comments were captioned..."the skinny ones work the hardest". I think they need their own show.

Those Detours were brutal. About half way through Phil describing the piano task, Thing 1 and I turned to each other and said "nope", and then he described the film task and we said "okay, pianos it is!". But why, why did they not do what Nick and Vicky finally do in the end??? Listening to all three pieces and trying to find them simultaneously would be impossible, there's no way you'd be able to distinguish one from the other that way.
Do you think those pianists gave a collective groan when they found out Nick and Vicky were on their way back?
I enjoyed Mr. Music Dictator: "NYET!". At least he started to look a bit sad when he had to say it for the 15th time.

Chad is so That Guy. You know, That Guy who kind of annoys you all the time, and then you feel sort of regret being too hard on him and thinking maybe he's not so bad after all, and then he opens his mouth and pisses you right off all over again, and you know you were right after all. That Guy.
I really liked the part where he said that listening to his girlfriend is a new and difficult experience for him, like bungee jumping or roping steers. That should make for an interesting marriage.

Kevin, sometimes your dad is right. Maybe you should listen to him sometimes, instead of treating him like luggage.

Favorite Line of the Night: "Here's your poop and potatoes!"

Thomas is very tiresome. When Jill asked (kind of excitedly) "have you ever been on a train like this before?" , he replied "Of course I have", like everyone who's anyone has travelled on a sleeper car and she's just too inexperienced and uncool to know that. Perhaps they held classes at Notre Dame in sleeper cars.
I've been on trains in a couple of countries and never been on a sleeper car. And I went to university, so take that Snotty McSmugpants.

I like Brooke so much...her running away from that barking dog twice had me in stitches.
When the kids were small, they used to narrate their lives like Brooke does, just constantly verbally detailing their actions and inner dialogue. And, like Brooke, it was cute at first, but incredibly wearing on everyone within earshot in a very short time. Thankfully, my kids grew out of it, but she hasn't.

So many good things in this episode. I loved when Kat mugged at the camera while she passed Mallory in the background desperately trying to get the locals to direct her where to go. When Stephanie mimicked Mallory going up into the poo pile to get the shovel, only to have Mallory say exactly the same "oh my God" in exactly the same way. Nick's face when he discovered exactly what kind of "drag" race he'd be in, and the fact that he kept his do-rag on under his babushka scarf. Mallory getting help over the fence from the locals, only to find out they wanted to have a drink with her. Good times.

I love this show.
Until next week!



nat walking past mallory asking for directions

Amazing Race 17 Ep. 5

I'd probably be more disappointed at the Volleyball girls' elimination if I remembered who they were. Other than a few snarky comments towards the other teams, I don't think they did one memorable thing the entire time. They did have very white teeth, though.

This season is delightfully free of inter-team drama, and I am enjoying that so much, I cannot tell you. It is so nice to not to see anyone snotting about another teams' throwing their sports bras off a balcony or laughing about their beauty pagent experience or cutting into lines at airports. Racing is plenty interesting enough, thanks, and it's a pleasure to actually see everyone doing it.

Still with the dissing your dad, Kev? Really? Can you let it go yet? We get it, your father is made out of egg shells and toothpicks, and you're terribly burdened by having to run this race with such a feeble old man. Except, he seems to be doing just fine, and I haven't heard him whine about you yet.

I'm not sure what was funnier, the Tattooed team's confusion over "Fast Forward Taken", or Nick's thinking they were hitting the Amazing Bathmat in second place. Did Vicky think that everyone could do the Fast Forward and skip all the tasks? Or did she think that there were more than one? Or that the team that had it might give it away? But that girl absolutely rocked those physical tasks, and with a smile on her face, too! And she has asthma. Nick sounded like a geriatric chain-smoker on that bike.
What on earth made him think they were in second place? That made Thing 1 and I look at each other with our mouths in little "o" shapes.

The conversation between the cars while driving around and around the roundabout made me laugh out loud. I would totally do that if I had any of those around here.

Nastiest Christmas tradition ever. And I thought fruitcake was disgusting. Note to self: Decline invitation to Christmas in Oslo.
Kudos to vegetarian of 20 years, she ate that mess without whining, which is way more than I think I could have done. And I actually eat meat. I had to laugh when she said "a glass of water is never a good sign". She's totally right on that one.
Did you hear Mallory's disappointment when they didn't go for the Fast Forward? "But I LOVE Christmas!" I wonder what she thought when she heard what it was.

Did you hear that Thomas went to Notre Dame? And his girlfriend did not? I KNOW!! That is such totally new and relevant information!! Everyone knows that college graduates are WAY, WAY smarter than hairdressers! I wonder which of them has a job.

Oh, Anonymous Stuttering Norwegian, you made my night. Not because I was laughing at your stutter, far from it, but because what are the chances of a desperate, frantic team needing directions happening on the ONE guy who would have to take his time? Especially if that team includes Chad, who I think is a douchebag.

One of the funniest things I've seen in a long time is that shot of Brooke walking up that hill with the two fish tails flapping away on her ass.
Actually, I've got to say, these two are made of tough stuff....a watermelon to the face and a gash over the eye and not one whine. And they make me laugh...."Why do you live all the way up here?"

Until next week!

Amazing Race 17 Ep. 4

That was too bad, I liked the Singing Geeks. (Although it has come to my attention that they annoyed the snot out of all kinds of other people.) I was pretty sure when they started talking about it being their graduation and they were missing it to be on the race that they'd be done for....the Race hates it when you are celebrating a big personal milestone while competing. We've seen in other circumstances that it is the kiss of death to be racing on your birthday. (See "Jenn, of Jenn and Nate", Season 12, Episode 10.) Except if you are a Globetrotter; the Race does not seem to mind that.

It sure didn't take long for Chad's inner dickwad to come out and play, did it? I seem to recall him saying he'd watch that after episode one. I guess that means "until I really want to be a dickwad again.". Shouting "come on!" at your scared, frustrated, increasingly upset girlfriend really helped, didn't it? I'm not sure who I'm madder at, him for treating her like a disobedient dog, or her for putting up with it.

I get that if you're not used to sliding on snow that there's a bit of a learning curve, but come on, were those sleds that tough to figure out? Maybe because we've been throwing ourselves off snow-covered, vertical ground since forever, but Thing 1 and I thought that looked like the easiest 1:58 minutes ever. And that track didn't even have trees you had to dodge, they were dressed for the weather and they were sober. Piece of cake.

That was the easiest Speed Bump in the history of Speed Bumps. Granted, that might have been a little more dramatic had all the teams been on the same flight to Sweden, but with the two hour advantage, sitting on an ice chair for ten minutes seemed kind of lame. Here in Canada, that's called "watching a hockey game" and we do it for an hour all the time. Of course, Kevin made it a bit more difficult than need be, simply because he was wearing shorts. Did it not occur to him at any time travelling between Africa and the Arctic Circle that he may need to change into warmer clothes????

Speaking of the Arctic Circle, I liked that Nick of the Tattooed Team thought that they could drive there. Perhaps he thought it was a really cool bar in Accra.

Those Tattooed Wonders impressed the daylights out of me with the sledding task; they rocked that, and without batting an eyelash, either.

Just as I thought Kevin had gotten over moaning about how lame his dad is, he said "I'd like to do the sleds, but I'm scared you can't do it" or something else designed to remind Michael what an albatross he is. His dad did just fine at the dog-sled task, thank you very much, including fending off a fake bear.

If ever I play high-stakes poker, I hope Mallory is on the other side of the table from me, because that girl cannot keep her emotions to herself for all that is holy. She doesn't just wear her heart on her sleeve, she's got an entire sparkly, purple jump suit decorated with every organ she owns.

I noticed that when they were talking about using the Express Pass, Thomas kept saying "my Pass" and wondering when "I" should use it. Does he know he has a partner? And that she's not his assistant? And that there are two of them?

My favorite part of the show was when Chad and the Volleyball Girls ran up to the pitstop with that huge block of ice clue, even though nobody told them to lug that thing around with them.

Until next week!

Amazing Race 17 Ep. 3

Has there ever been a Non-Elimination this early in the race before?
I kind of got the feeling that Kevin's dad was unhappy about letting his son down, but okay about not being in the race any more. He seemed to be okay with the idea of hanging out by a pool and sipping Mai Tais for the next few weeks.

Kevin really has to stop treating his dad like some sort of lame cow he has to drag around the world with him. Enough with the "I don't know if my dad can" stuff, especially right in front of him. 59 is not exactly one foot in the grave...don't you remember Grandpa Don from a few seasons ago? the man was in his 70s and rocked in every way possible. ("I used to mine gold when I was a kid!") Lay off, Kev.

Glee boys singing to Samson the Cab Driver was adorkable.

I sure hope they leave that decoder banner up so that when those guys go back to the school the next day they can see it. Thing 1 and I were laughing out loud when they started drawing circles around the kids in the dirt.....and then other teams did the same thing!! Oh, Herd Mentality, you are a strong and powerful force.

I'm pretty good at geography, but I think I would have had to take a few stabs at that map challenge....before this show, I'd have been hard pressed to say exactly where in Africa Ghana is. (I took a course on geopolitics in university, and one of the first days, the prof gave us blank maps of each continent for us to fill in with the names of the countries. It was unbelieveably hard....North America and Europe were pretty easy, but when you have to decide which one is Uraguay and which one is Paraguay, it gets a little tougher. And Africa was a disaster...the class average on that continent was about 3%. You know Chad and Malawi are somewhere on that map, but man, where, exactly???The prof was puzzled as to why the class all got Nepal, because that had never happened before, and we all replied it was because of "Raiders of the Lost Ark".)

If I had been Vicky, that one "shut up" of Nick's would have been the end of the race for me. I don't care how unhappy or frustrated you are, you DO NOT speak to your partner like that. Ever. And guess what douchebag? You could have read the clue about the supplies yourself, too. I have a very low tolerance for anyone who keeps yelling after their partner says "I'm sorry" in that sad, beaten little voice. And if Chad can tone down his inate douchiness, then so can you.

I like Mallory, I really do, but she had got to lay off the White Man's Guilt for a bit. Not everyone in Africa is worthy of your pity, you know. Just because those kids don't have Nintendos and Fruit Roll Ups does not mean they are without justice and freedom.

Again, I can only imagine the conversations those kids had at dinner that night..."A big bunch of loud, screechy Americans came today, and hardly any of them know a damn thing about geography or pushing a bicycle wheel, and for some reason, they ran around us drawing circles in the dirt. One of them hugged me, and I was afraid he was trying to adopt me. So strange."

Best Line of the Night: from the Gleeks- "In Phil we trust". Also from the blonde doctor- "The kids were the best part of the day.".

The Volleyball girls are jerks. They haven't pulled out the "we're competitive" card yet, but they will, I'm sure, when they do something morally dubious. They don't even say "please".

Until next week!

Amazing Race 17 Ep. 2

Bring on the culture shock! Ghana sort of stood in as "India Lite" for these guys, just enough noise and crowds and heat and dust to throw them, but not so much that anyone felt the need to curl up in a fetal position and cry.

Can I say how refreshing it is to NOT have anyone be a complete asshole right out of the gate? It was nice to see people just....racing. Of course, that could change completely at any time, but it was very pleasant to see teams getting on with the race and not have the focus on interpersonal relationships that clearly require intense therapy and a good kick in the ass.

I think I love Brook and Claire, the shopping channel hosts. Even though Brook is very screechy and needs a little talk about using her inside voice sometimes, they both get down to work and get the job done, and smiling the whole time, too. I really liked when Brook was crawling across the top of that guy's fridge while calmly asking "have you ever had antenna service before, sir?", like this was her job and she wanted to give him the best service possible.
I can't believe Claire did not have a broken nose and two black eyes from last week's watermelon incident.

Mallory's enthusiasm seems to be permanently set to "brain busting!", but I really like her, too. When she was on the mat saying "Phil,just tell me before I have a heart attack" I totally could feel her angst! I'd be jumping out of my skin, too!

Somewhere in Ghana, there is a man watching tv on his hastily set up antenna, and he's all "Wait, I paid how much for my sunglasses?? Everyone else only laid out 3 cidas, and I paid 15!!"

I think I would very much like a fish hat. Like the greeter. That would get me a lot of attention on the bus to work. Especially if I danced like the bootylicious lady at the market.

I can't say I'm terribly sad to see the Gilmour Girls go....I was kind of uneasy whenever they were on the screen, like I was terribly worried that one or the other was going to say or do something to blow the whole deal with the other one. What if one of them wanted to wear fur, or vote Republican or didn't believe in global warning and it came out on national television and the other one wanted to kill her? I feel like they were kind of on the same page as me, too....they seemed so awkward and guarded on the show, like they were too distracted by their relationship to really give the Race their all. I hope they can get to know each other in Sequesterville.

You really shouldn't be allowed to bring your father on this sort of thing and then complain because you think he's going to be too slow or not competitive enough. Those two have no excuse, they both lived in the same house, no one gave anyone up for adoption.

I think Thomas and Chad are going to be the residents douchebags this season. Chad seemed to have pulled himself together since last week, but I'll bet when the Killer Fatigue sets in, he'll go back to yelling and blaming. Thomas was mad at his girlfriend because she cared about the locals in an impoverished country while she ran around the world hoping to win a million dollars. And then he said that on national television. That attitude should get much better in the ensuing weeks.

When I die I'd like to be buried in a giant crustacean.

Until next week!

Amazing Race 17 Ep. 1

Hello Race! Nice to see you back.....sit down and tell me all about your summer, starting with Episode 1!

A nice mix of teams this time; no married couples, no dating model/actors and no one with a disability who is out to prove that "we can do anything". (Except if you count the diabetic, which I don't.)

I can't believe NO ONE said one Princess Bride or Monty Python reference at all during the castle task....no way could I have helped myself..... "I fart in your general direction","have fun storming the castle!", "Your father was a hamster.....!" Good times.
I was happy to see that they just dumped cold, dirty water on the racers; historical accuracy would have demanded boiling oil and cow shit. I'll bet the cameramen who drive with them are happy too.

Why did Team Gilmore Girls even think to do this? I don't think having met twice before consitutes an "existing relationship". By that measure, I could go on the
Amazing Race with my dental hygenist or the UPS guy at work. I could barely do this race with my husband, who I've known for over 25 years and I'm pretty sure I like. The last thing I want to do with someone I barely know and desperately want to think well of me is drive a stick shift on the wrong side of the road after an adrenaline-fueled sleepless night. For a month.

Speaking of which, that noise her clutch was making? That's the universal cry of distress from a dying clutch to warn all the other clutches within hearing not to drive with that woman.

You know you are in trouble when Phil mocks you at the mat. "That's, that's right, the country of London." Team Tattoo started out by saying you can't judge a book by it's cover, but really, what else do I have to go on. And I'm not by any stretch saying that tattooed people are dumb, far from it, but I can say that people who have never heard of Stonehenge and think a "battlement" is a person while actually touching the flag they are looking for and then walking away, are.

That watermelon to the face was one of the most horrific things I've ever seen on tv. How she did not have a broken, bloody nose and lose a couple of teeth is beyond me. I can't believe she got up at all, let alone finished the task. Can you imagine if that had been Mirna? Or Flo? (Trick Question: Of course you can't, because both of them would have made their partners do it.)

How did Ron and Tony get so far off course?? Didn't they have a compass?

I liked the fall at the Amazing Bathmat by one of the Singing Geeks. He managed to take out the other one at the same time, too.

Next stop: the country of Africa!

Until next week!