The Best Things In The World

Around Christmas I find myself a bit panicky at the amount of STUFF that comes into this house. There are four of us, three of which are grimly determined pack-rats, and our house isn't very big. The result is that I live in constant clutter, and that makes me a bit crazy. So I try to focus on the things that I really like, that make my life happy. And most of those things aren't things at all:

• SLEEP. Man, is there anything, anything better than going to sleep? There's the drifty, floaty feeling after putting your head down on the pillow, the rolling over in the middle of the night to realize you still have hours, or the Sunday morning dozing where you slip in and out of conciousness while surfing the contents of your head. Sleep is my number one drug.
• BABIES. The smell insanely delicious, their skin in like the warmest, softest satin and they have little corn-niblet toes that are the cutest things ever made. Plus, when they smile, that's your day, right there.
• HOT SHOWERS. I think the single greatest accomplishment of the Twentieth Century is indoor plumbing, and hot running water in abundance is the greatest thing about indoor plumbing. Being clean is one of the best feelings ever (note: the shower you take after a camping trip or a day at the beach.), but the delight of stepping into that steamy shower is not to be taken for granted.
• YOUR OWN BED. Really, doesn't everyone want to be home? And isn't home what's familiar and comfortable and safe and cozy? And isn't your bed all those things? I love to travel, but snuggling down into my own bed after a trip has to be one of the best things ever.
• A GOOD BOOK. I love it when I get a book that is so good that I think about it when I'm not reading it, and can't wait to get back to it. (Preferably IN MY OWN BED.) No matter what is going on in my life, I can always count on a good book to give me perspective, make me think, educate me or simply entertain me long enough to forget my own problems. Books are indispensible.
• SUNSHINE We live in a part of the world that gets a fair bit of cloudy weather, and boy oh boy, when the sun does come out? It's like everyone got a shot of Happy. You can see the collective mood lift and it is a serious game changer. Sunshine is nature's Prozac.
• LAUGHTER One time, a client remarked on the Christmas decorations in the salon to the Mister by saying "I really like your balls". Which, at the time, made us all run into the staff room, where we laughed so hard I thought I might pass out. And then one of us would catch the other's eye and we'd be off again like a bunch of lunatics. We laughed all day about that.  A good, gut-busting, loud and honest belly laugh is one of the best things ever.
• HUGS. Last year, when my father was very ill, and things were at their worst,  my good friend Big Liver Girl came over with some homemade soup and bread and gave me a full-body, rib-cracking, back-and-forth swaying hug. It was wonderful. It was comfort and care and acknowlegment and sympathy and  love, all in one package. How can you beat that? My friend Blair could hug as her day job, she's so good at it.
• MUSIC. Few things in this world are as remarkable as music. Happy? There's a song for that. Sad? We've got that covered. It's a particular season or occasion? No problem. The possibilities are, literally, endless. And I'm willing to wager you have a song running through your head right now.
• TAKING OFF YOUR SKI BOOTS. If you ski, you'll know exactly what I mean. If you don't, let me explain....You put on your ski boots in the morning out for a day on the slopes, and you dont' take them off until you are finished. Ski boots are heavy, and they don't bend at the ankle, so you clomp around all day in the equivient of bowling balls on your feet, looking and sounding like the Incredible Hulk. When you take those heavy, sweaty, rigid boots off, it feels like you are walking about 3 inches above the ground, and you are about to float away altogether. Plus, your ankles bend now, so getting something off the ground is not the production it was earlier.
• CLEAN I hate cleaning, but man, do I love stuff clean. When I clean a closet or a room, I have to go back into it a couple of times and just admire my efforts and how fabulous it looks.

None of these things are particularly remarkable or out of the ordinary, but they make me the happiest. And maybe because they are not particularly remarkable or out of the ordinary, that's why they make me happy.

Fair Enough.

It was Fair day on Monday; we went with the girls and a few of their friends. A good time was had by all, despite the fact that the Pig and Duck Races were NOT there this year. The weather was beautiful and it was all good.

Part of the fun of going to the fair is the rides...the Mister and I don't partake: too expensive for us. But the girls go on everything, at least once, and don't seem to suffer any consequences from having their brains rattled around like marbles in a jar. Thing 1's friend convinced her to go on one ride that was basically a roller coaster on a track that was one big circle standing on it's end, so that the people on the ride just kept going upside down. Thing 1 did it last year, and had some reservations, but her friend was very persuasive and got her on it. All we could hear was Thing 1 screaming the entire time, and not just occasional shrieks of terror, but a continuous wail like an air-raid siren. The guy running the ride liked it so much, he took everyone on it around a couple of more times. Thing 1 had no idea that was her voice she heard screaming....she thought it was other people, too. At least I could tell her her hair looked bitchin'.

The other attraction at the fair is the food. As my dad has said, "they'd deep-fry the coffee if they could". Fair food is all nutritionally bankrupt and morally dubious. That's what's good about it. They had a new offering at the fair this year: deep-fried butter. Thing 1 and Thing 2's friend and I were all game to try that, and guess what? It was delicious. I thought it would be, well, just what you are thinking deep-fried butter would be like, but it was fabulous. They take a lump of frozen butter, about a half a tablespoon, and batter it and fry it. Then they drizzle chocolate, vanilla, caramel and raspberry syrup on each one...when you bite into it, it's all melty and crispy and sweet and salty and hot and yummy. It reminded me of fresh pancakes with LOTS of melted butter. You can't eat too many of them, your arteries will stop up entirely, and you can't think too much about it when you're eating it, that way madness lies. I think the only thing you could deep-fry that would be worse for you is lard.

We petted goats and watched chicks hatch and saw a milking demonstration. We ate fries and rode on wagons. We saw some pretty interesting fashion choices and the Mister and I were so tired at one point we thought about playing bingo, just for the chance to sit down.

All done for next year.

Things That Need to Be Said

1. Jane, I am positive I did not steal your coat. I was not at the Legion, where yours disappeared from, this one has no spangly, blingy beautiful pin and I'm entirely sure you would never walk around with an appallingly large rip in the lining.

2. Lunch out with Big Liver Girl is one of my very favorite things in the whole world.

3. I is not physically possible for me to care less about Jay Leno or Conan O'Brien.

4. Lady at the grocery store yesterday who complained long and bitterly about the price of fresh cherries in Canada in January: watch the news and see what is happening in Haiti and then hang your head in shame.

5. I really like that my dad gives me a ride to work on Wednesday mornings. Not because I don't have to take the bus, and not because I can leave 20 minutes later, but because it's really nice to spend a few minutes with just him.

6. To be able to comfort a friend who is anxious and worried makes me feel like a superhero.

7. I have great in-laws.

8. My children are turning out to be nice, decent, reasonable, hilarious people, with whom I enjoy spending my time. I had heard that when they turned 14, they would be unrecognizable nightmares that I would cheerfully kill in their sleep. This has not turned out to be the case, and I'm grateful.

9. Thing 1 has decided to move her bedroom from the main floor of our house to the spare room in the basement. While the Mister puts down the new carpet, we have moved the rather large and bulky desk into the hallway temporarily. The only way to do this was to up end the desk, and have it sort of blocking the hall for a day or two. Toby thinks this is the best idea we ever had, and occupied all aspects of the new arrangement with haste. Here he is, on what would be the right-hand end of the desk. He has taken this opportunity of vertical superiority to physically assault everyone who goes by. As this is the only way in or out of the family room, there is ample opportunity for him to ambush every unsuspecting head foolish enough to pass within paw's reach. Here he is, eagerly awaiting his next victim....

It is unrelentlingly hilarious.

How I Spent My Day, Another Day

The Women's Section of the 1975 Eaton's catalogue was bad enough, but you should get a load of the Men's Department....even worse, if you can believe it. I understand that it is entirely the nature of "style" that it changes drastically from decade to decade, but it's really hard to wrap one's head around the idea that any of this stuff EVER looked cool or hip or attractive or even less than laughable, as if that was that was the height of your ambitions. Also, note the collective fear of showing your ears...clearly a phobia rampant in the 70's....

Exhibit A:

You know why these are "no-iron" shirts? Because they are made out of abominated chemical compounds that melt when heated higher than room temperature.Those synthetic monstrosities just last and last and last. (The Mister had several of these shirts when we got married, and I made him throw them out. But not because they needed ironing!) Don't you love the patterns? The patterns that re-arrange your neurons and make your retinas twitch? Between you and me? The guy on the bottom left is wearing "guyliner".

Ahhh, the Leisure Suit. Nothing says "The 70's" quite like the Leisure Suit. And although they look sort of like very formal polyester pajamas, they look anything but comfortable. In the top picture, the two men look like they are doing a very awkward version of "The Chicken Dance", and the two in the big picture look somewhat happier,but as if they have just been caught doing something they shouldn't have. But what do you expect for $29.95?

Whoa, dude....dial down the pose, please. I know what's in those pants, but I don't want to know what's in those pants, got it?? Love the selection on the right: "Brain Spasm", "Clown School Showdown", and "Brown-tastic Fiesta!""The Toughest Denim We Sell" Really? Do a lot of Hell's Angels buy the denim jacket with the ginormous fuzzy, white collar? Who loves these guys? I do. I very much do. Where every other model in the catalogue looks like he could reasonably shoot for a spot in the "Village People", these two look like real men. Look how proud Earl there up in the left hand corner is. And so he should....apart from winning the Shriner's "Man of the Year" award, he also scored a modelling gig in the Eaton's catalogue.

"So, the other day, the guys and I were standing around in our underwear, like we do, and we got to talking about what would happen if we pulled our waistbands up EVEN HIGHER".

I'm sure the next generation will find our fashion choices equally criminal, but at least we fearlessly showed our ears.

How I Spent My Day

Back in the summer the girls and I went to a small town near here that has the, and I mean, THE, most wonderful junk store in the entire world. I could spend all day in that place; it is spectacular. And for 2 bucks, I got a 1975 Eaton's Catalogue, an impressive purchase, I assure you. (If you are not Canadian, you would not be familiar with the iconic Eaton's Catalogue, which was a fixture for many, many years in every household, like the Sears Catalogue in the States. I'm not sure if out-of-date Sears Catalogues were as favored for use as hockey goalie pads like the Eaton's catalogue was.

I spent hours with this catalogue, it is entirely fascinating.

The womens' fashions are, as expected for the mid-70's, uniformly horrible.

Faith and begorrah! That's a LOT of green. The heading is "Durable Knits", for those of you who like your clothing to withstand, I don't know, a rip-roaring St. Paddy's Day.

Those wobbly heads are not the fault of the catalogue, but merely the result of me learning how my scanner works. Anyway, despite her giddy smile and broken neck, I think the one in the middle is seriously in danger of losing her shit altogether, because she is on her way to a very special occasion wearing only a bedspread.

I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty sure I had the outfit in the middle, and was mighty chuffed about it too. That was a particularly omnipresent colour in the 70's, and a highly unflattering one it was, too. "Yes, let me have something in a dull brown, but put some orange in it....now, a bit of sludgy red, almost like dried blood.....maybe a bit of ear wax gold....perfect! Now, lets make lots of polyester out of it! Make sure it's durable!" The outfit on the right looks very, um...resistant to the human form. Almost like it was made out of cardboard and plaster of paris.

From the "Communist First Ladies Collection". Clearly, Raisa Gorbachev did her shopping out of the 1975 Eaton's Catalogue.

This is as racy as the Eatons' catalogue gets. The one on the left with the peach polyester nighty, has a decidedly "come-hither" look on her face, and the kneeling one either has a very short nighty on or has forgotten her pants. The one besider her must be the fastest one of the bunch, because she isn't even wearing sleeves, the hussy. I can just feel that slinky, slimy nylon.

And JUST when you think the Eaton's catalogue is heading straight down Sodom and Gommorah Boulevard at a hundred miles an hour, you turn the page and realize that all is well...

because this nightwear would firmly quash ANY ideas of sexiness the previous page might have stirred up. Honestly, these are 'The Birth Control You Wear'. Although, the lady second from the right might be wearing the equivilent of Clown Lingerie, I don't know. I do know that the fabric these are made of work up some hellish static electricity, and one would be warned to think long and hard before making contact with another human being. (Not that wearing one of these would bring that occurance about.)

There is much to be thankful for in the 21st century, not the least of which is the re-discovery of natural fibers, and flame-retardant fabric.

No, No, November

Bliss. We turned back the clocks last night and that extra hour this morning was heavenly. We really should do that more than once a year, it's so very enjoyable.
Apart from the extra hour to sleep, I also enjoy the slight discombobulation I experience all day long, when it feels like it is later than it actually is; it's like being pleasantly off-kilter for 24 hours or so.

It was Halloween last night, and Thing 1 decided she was too old to go trick or treating, so she stayed in and handed out candy. Thing 2 was still game, (and claims she will be "until I'm graduating university".) and I went out with a posse of her friends around the neighbourhood. I've been blessed with good weather all the years my children have been old enough to go out, and I always knew that sooner or later, my luck would turn. Last night was it; man, was it cold. It didn't help that it was hella windy, too. My luck DID hold, though, in that it did not rain. Can you imagine trick-or-treating in the rain? Miserable beyond belief, would be my guess. Apart from the fact that costumes and rain don't mix, (in fact, if they don't actually dissolve in the rain, they get so bedraggled and ratty that you can't even recognize who they started out to be.), trudging around in the cold rain, begging for candy, is positively Dickensian.

Thing 2 went out as a "Glow Stick Girl" this year, which meant that her costume consisted of her wearing all black, and having about 60 glow sticks taped to her body. The Mister was in charge of her outfit, and they taped her up right before we left, so that the glow sticks wouldn't loose their mojo too early. (We shouldnt' have worried; those things were still glowing when I threw out the garbage after dinner tonight.) She looked pretty cool, out in the dark, and it was really easy to pick her out of the crowd.

We had a very lazy pajama day today here, which was fine by me. In fact, I spend an enormous amount of my life scheming of ways be able to avoid putting on real clothes and just hang out at home in my pajamas. I'm so delighted when it works out to my advantage.

And so starts November...which means....here comes Christmas.

Giving Thanks

It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada this weekend. We have our Thanksgiving about 6 weeks before the Americans, and our is on a Monday rather than a Thursday. Canadians don't have Pilgrims, or a big shopping event the day after, either. In typical Canadian fashion, we just eat dinner and that's it.
Traditionally, Thanksgiving is supposed to be a sort of "end of the harvest" event, mostly started by the pioneers to celebrate the fact that the crops are all in and it looks like they might avoid starving to death for one more Canadian winter. Even though I live in a time and place where starving is not a danger, (in fact, quite the opposite.) I'm still very thankful to have plenty.

Things I Am Grateful For and Never Take For Granted:

• Central heating and central airconditioning. Having control over the temperature of the air I inhabit is an incredible luxury that is fairly recent in human history. Whenever I read about people not having enough coal for a fire, or sweltering in the tropics, or trying to keep a fire from going out because of rain or wind, I am again grateful for modern comforts.
• Salt has no calories.
• An afternoon nap.
• I have the money, the means and the freedom to go out and buy pretty much anything I really want. Conversely, I am free from wanting all that much.
• The health of myself and my family. We are all ridiculously healthy, with nothing more than the occasionaly cold or achy back to plague us. And if we are sick, we live in a place where health care is available, excellent and affordable.
• Stability, security and peace. I live in a time and a place where I don't worry about my children being snatched off the street, where my husband isn't out fighting a war and I can walk out my door without being shot at, kidnapped or robbed. I don't have to worry about what I say or what I've said in the past, I can read whatever newspaper I like and go about my day without censure. Those are things that lots of people can only dream of, and I get to live it every day.
• Laughter. My friends, my family, my co-workers, my clients, they all make me laugh, and there are very few things in life finer than an gut-busting, all-encompassing, bent-over, tears in your eyes, deep from the belly laugh.
• New sheets on the bed.
• A hot shower. Especially when you've had to go without for a few days.
• Reading a good book that is SO good you think about it when you are not reading it, and can't wait to get back to it, and think about it long after you've finished it. The only bad thing about that good a book is that you wish you could read it for the first time all over again.
• Electricity. Driving away the darkness with a flick of a switch. Cooking a meal with a turn of a knob. Boiling a kettle without starting a fire. Washing a weeks worth of clothes in a few hours instead of a few days. I appreciate electricity all the time.
• I have choices. I'm lucky enough to live where women can do pretty much as they please. I can marry or divorce, be in charge of my own money, own my own property, vote and choose to pursue whatever line of employment I fancy. I can conduct my life as I wish, and believe me, that? is something I never take for granted. And I especially appreciate that on behalf of my daughters, who will never have to limit their choices in life because they happen to be women.
• I spend my day at a job where people appreciate my efforts, where I am happy and comfortable and I am lucky enough to get paid well to do it.
• My friends, who I am lucky enough to have a bounty of. They make me laugh, they give me perspective, they love me and they give me enormous joy. And, in the case of Big Liver Girl, they bring me an apple pie, right out of the blue.

Awesome Things

Inspired by this site, 1000 Awesome Things, I offer the following:

Mrs. Loudshoes' Awesome Things:

• the smell of a baby when they first wake up
• taking off your ski boots at the end of the day.
• when you were a kid, falling asleep in the car on the way home at night and being carried into bed
• walking out the door of work when you are starting holidays
• Finding something you've been looking for forever
• waking up on a stormy winter's morning remembering that you don't have to work that day
• the smell of rain on hot concrete
• the house full of really good stuff to eat
• when you walk outside and it's the exactly perfect temperature
• putting clothes on right out of the dryer
• having someone else wash your hair.
• coming in from the cold
• realizing that your headache is gone
• that first fall on a rollercoaster
• realizing that the show you want to watch is starting just as you sit down for the evening
• getting all the green lights
• the shower you have after a day at the beach
• going back to admire your job after you clean a room or a closet
• getting your credit card bill and the balance says "$0"
• a long hill down on your bike
• starting a big fat new book by your favorite author
• bacon

Back

I'm not sure which I like better, the week spent at the cottage, or the coming home from the cottage.

We came home yesterday from our annual holiday on Lake Huron. We've been going to the cottage since Thing 2 was only 18 months old, and it's become a real punctuation mark in our lives; the girls don't remember a summer when we didn't go to the cottage, and I always feel like the pictures I get of the kids there stand as tangible markers to their growing up.

And I do love that week away. Apart from the break from work and routine, I love seamless quality to our days there. We have no tv and no computers, and I get a delicious feeling of being completely out of the loop for that week. I usually buy a newspaper every couple of days, just so I know what day it is. And I read and nap and walk and watch movies with impunity; there are no closets to be cleaned, no files to organize, no bathrooms to paint and no laundry to be folded. It is guilt-free, enforced relaxation.

Coming home is just as wonderful. By the end of the week up there, I am dying for my own kitchen, my own bathroom and my own bed. I revel in being able to watch the news, pet the cat and have the dishwasher do the work. (My God, the dishes at the cottage! Every time I'd clear the sink out, it would fill up again in about 3 minutes! Who knew four people could use so many forks??? I come home with an entirely new appreciation for the 19th century housewife.)

This year I did something so wonderfully brilliant that I think I should get some sort of award for it....I cleaned the house thoroughly and perfectly before I went away. (That also had a lot to do with the fact that we had someone housesitting for us , and nothing galvanizes me like pride and the idea that she would tell everyone at work what a filthy hovel I enhabit.) I even put clean sheets on my bed and fresh towels in the ensuite. I cannot tell you what a phenomenally excellent feeling it was to walk into a clean house, after a week spent with bugs and sand and a decidedly lackidasical approach to personal hygeine. And to slide into clean sheets after a long, hot shower was possiblly the most blissful experience of my entire life. (And I know from blissful, I've had epidurals.)

Today I am doing laundry (piles and piles and piles of it) and puttering in the garden and surfing the net and generally enjoying putting my life back on again. And maybe I'll clean a closet, just for the novelty of it.

Another Crutch.

I found this on the web a little while ago, and it has added immeasurably to my life. The Drama Button lends far more gravity and substance to my every utterance than content alone could ever do.
For example "I have to clean out the cat litter", followed by pushing the drama button gives that mundane job a certain glamour and boldness that it has always lacked. Or try if I give it a go after "I'm sure I left my keys somewhere"....now I don't seem like such an empy-headed nitwit, I appear to be nervy and fearless.
It's heady stuff. You should try it.

My Glamourous Life.

What a fabulous week it's been, busy and fun and jam-packed with good stuff.

Sunday we met some friends visiting from Australia for a picnic in the park. Jennifer grew up here in Canada, met a very nice Aussie a few years back and decided he was worth a move to the other side of the world and did just that. She and her husband and delightful children come back every couple of years or so, and take the time to contact us and make arrangement to see us. I reward such enterprise by showing up with beer, pizza and popsicles. We had such a lovely evening talking about people we used to work with and catching up and remembering why we always liked each other in the first place.

Monday was errands and grocery shopping and cutting my friend Sue's hair, which is always way, way more fun than work. The Mister had a dentist's appointment, which meant that I was stranded without a car and forced to read my book and eat potato chips for the afternoon. Thing 1 and I went to our running class, which we really enjoy because it's only the second week and it's still pretty easy.

Then on Tuesday, I went to Toronto with Big Liver Girl to see the Dave Matthews Band, which is easily one of my very favorite things to do in the whole entire world. I love that band, I just love them. And they put on an entirely wonderful show, playing almost ALL of my favorites, and Big Liver Girl and I danced and clapped and sang until we were tired and hoarse. (They played a rocking cover of Burning Down The House, and I figure I was the only person in that audience that saw both Dave Matthews and Tom Jones perform that song in concert. I heard one of the hammered young women in front of us ask if it was off the new album. I didn't have the heart to tell her it was by the Talking Heads and it was released before she was born. She was too drunk to remember it anyway. ) We stayed overnight in a flat-out wonderful hotel, got up at 5 in the morning, and drove home in time to see the kids off to school. We both managed to get through our respective days without sleep-deprivation rearing it's ugly head, and then we plunked ourselves down at our youngest children's end-of-the-year concert at school. TWO concerts TWO nights in a row with Big Liver Girl! Another fun night...honestly, if you find yourself at a concert, any concert, Big Liver Girl is excellent company.
I went to bed last night before sundown, slept like the dead, and got up this morning all bright and shiny and new once again.

Today was uneventful, which was very welcome. I got my hair done and went for a run with Thing 1 and plan on watching 30 Rock.

It's not Ivana Trump's life, but it suits me entirely.

Good Things That Happened Today

I'm well aware that I lead a charmed life. (Especially when I spend the past weekend with my divorced friends who calmly relate tales of visits from the police due to psychotic ex-husbands, as if that is just part of normal living.) And then some days are better than others.

• The new Dave Matthews Band CD came out today, and I've listened to it endlessly in an attempt to know all the words by this time next week, when Big Liver Girl and I go to Toronto to see our Rock and Roll Boyfriends.


• The sun is shining and the air is clear, the birds are singing, Toby is dozing in the breezeway and I don't have to put on coats or boots or shovel anything.


• I started my "Learn to Run" class last night (I know, nobody is more surprised than me.) and I didn't embarrass myself at all. I was afraid I'd finish as a weepy, wheezy heap by the end of the class, but I managed to look presentable the whole time.


• Thing 2 had a track meet at Thing 1's high school today, and I had a chance to visit with Thing 1 during her lunch break. Not only did I get to put a face to the names of all the kids she's been talking about all year ("That's the Oompah-Loompah Kid") I met one of her teachers and a cafeteria lady. I'm pretty sure most of the kids in that school would not happily show their mothers around for the better part of an hour, and I'm pumped that mine did and we had such a good time together.


• Thing 2's track meet went well, and although she didn't place, it was fun nonetheless. She was happy enough to get a piece of pizza and call it a day.


• The jacket that I had my eye on in Eddie Bauer was sold out of my size, thereby saving me $99.

And the day's not even over yet!

Products I Love

1. President’s Choice Butter Chicken sauce I've tried to make Indian food at home on numerous occasions, and after what feels like hours of chopping, sauteeing and simmering, it seems to end up looking a lot like baby poo, and smelling only slightly better. But The President makes a Butter chicken sauce that is wonderful, and requires only opening a jar.
2. L’oreal Voluminous Mascara I possess only four very long, very dark eyelashes on each lid, and making them look like normal person eyelashes is a lot of work. I've tried almost every mascara on the planet that promises to make my eyelashes look full and lush and thick, and L'Oreal's is the only one that seems to actually make that happen.
3. Keri Lotion For many reasons, I am glad to have been born in the late 20th century: antibiotics, modern dentistry, cheap and abundant chocolate. But had I been born in an earlier time, I'm sure I'd have died prematurely, simply because my skin would have blown right off me. I have the driest skin imaginable. I am very grateful for Keri Lotion, because it is blissfully moisturizing, and it leaves a nice, sort of shiny finish to my skin. And I like looking like I'm made out of latex.
4. Glad press and seal It's the most expensive cling wrap you can buy, but, man does it do the job. You can seal that sucker down on almost any bowl or plate or to itself and make a near indestructable seal that stays put. Worth every penny.
5. Neutrogena Healthy skin lotion This is the stuff I put on my face. (For reasons inexplicable to me, women use one kind of stuff on their faces and another kind of lotion on their bodies. I'm sure there is not a lick of difference between the two products, but I'm been brainwashed like everyone else to believe there is, so I persist, even though I'm well aware of it.) This is great stuff; it has an SPF of 15, so lazy slobs like me don't have to put on sunscreen as well, it's got an alpha-hydroxy acid in it, so my skin never looks dull or flakey, and, best of all, it's cheap.
6. Tetley tea My mother, who takes her tea very seriously, uses only Tetley tea, and therefore, so do I. I once tried to save, oh, about 35 cents by buying the store brand tea, and rued the day, let me tell you. It was awful stuff, and my mother has not quite forgiven me for serving it to her. We still can't laugh about it yet.
7. Frizz-Ease by John Frieda You can beleive me when I say I have tried every imaginable product on the market to tame frizzy hair. (I think one of the reasons I became a hairdresser was to support my hair product habit.) And you can also believe me when I say that few people have the ridiculous access to the cornicopia of hair products out there that I do. So when I say that Frizz-Ease by John Frieda is the best hair de-frizzer out there, believe that, too.
8. Lindor chocolate My sister-in-law actually owns her own chocolate company. which is stupendous, and you really should find some of her stuff immediately. And I am endlessly in awe of someone who wants a certain kind of chocolate so badly that she would set up her own company to make it....I mean, that is dedication. And she has badly ruined me for any sort of mediocre chocolate at all. I can't be bothered with Kit Kats or Aeros now, it's Belgian and Swiss chocolate for me all the way. When there's no Hazelnut Crunch to be had, Lindors Truffles are a very nice alternative.
9. Pampered chef stone ware Many moons ago, I sold Pampered Chef products, mostly because I am a kitchen gadget junkie and it was a good way to get some at a discount and not endanger my marriage. Anyway, one of the things I discovered along the way is their stoneware baking sheets, cake pans and roasting dishes. They are genius. Because they are porous, things crisp up way better than on metal, and although food can over cook, it doesn't seem to burn as easily. And you just give it a good scrubbing with hot water (NO SOAP!) and they are clean. I don't know what I'd do without them.
10. Smuckers Seed-Free Jam Raspberry jam with seeds is pure torture. Smuckers makes a tasty, fruity jam without seeds at all, and it's amazing how much better your day goes when you aren't picking seeds out of your teeth.
11. OPI Nail Polish The Cadillac of nail polishes. Fabulous colours, it goes on beautifully and stays on for days and days.
    

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