Monday, April 29, 2013

Amazing Race, Episode 10

Is it just me or is this season a little, um......boring? Not boring, exactly, but not terrribly interesting. The locales are spectacular, no doubt about it, in that vein, this is one of the best seasons ever, but maybe it's the teams or the tasks, but I'm finding myself not terribly invested in this season. Maybe it's the fact that even Max and Katie cannot seem to muster up enough enthusiasm for being the dastardly villans they promised they would be at the beginning of this thing.

Not much of an opportunity to change things up this leg; with the Double-U-Turn (a W-Turn!) really meaning that the last two teams would still be the last two teams. Also, Mona and Beth kick ass, so Meghan and Joey were a forgone conclusion to be out. Seriously, they handled a Double U-Turn, AND a Speed Bump and still managed to stay in the game. I give them props, those ladies are tough.

I would enjoy a U-Turn so much more if it wasn't telegraphed from the PitStart....if it came as a surprise, and the whole alliance didn't get together to decide how to use it beforehand, it would make for a much more interesting game. Also, if we could get rid of it altogether, that would be ok too.

Joey seemed to me to be all kinds of likeable when he expressed himself like a normal, genuine human being, rather than a Disney side-kick. That squealing and flailing of hands got on my last nerve.....he reminded me way too much of my kids' sleepover parties, where someone was making that noise every minute of the night, and I only got through it by drinking wine and wearing earphones.
 However, he handled the stress of this race better than almost anyone else I've ever seen; we never saw him be anything other than supportive and patient with Meghan, even when she was the reason they were flagging, and he enjoyed himself every step of the way. I prefer that to Max and Katie's smug faces any day.

Speaking of Katie, I can't figure out if she's completely without a human emotion, or just tired. Girl has some bitchin' hair, though.

I've eaten haggis before, it's really not that bad. As long as you don't think too hard about what, exactly, you are eating.Like most sausage, really.  A couple of mouthfuls of it would be okay, especiallly if you were cold and  hungry. I kept thinking of that Mike Myers movie where he said "I think all Scottish food is based on a dare."

The whisky rolling teams should have at least got a shot of whiskey at the end.

Appropos of nothing, but my friend Sandy's daughter, Meredith, looked JUST like the Scottish whiskey-counting clue giver.

Favorite Line of the Night: From one Country Singer: "I met my husband today in Scotland. His name is Jim. He's 70."

The Robbie Burns impersonator was having the time of his life, wasn't he? Who knew that gig would be so much fun?

Was I the only one who thought the greeter was the Phantom of the Opera?

Two hour finale next week! I just hope Max and Katie don't win!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Amazing Race 22, Episode 9

I'm happy enough that this was a Non-Elimination Leg, because I like both teams that were in last place. The Roller Derby Moms are pretty low-drama, and they certainly don't seem to freak out very easily.
I like Bates and Anthony, only because, again, they seem pretty low drama, and they also don't like Max, which is A-Okay by me. Bates certainly didn't seem too put out at having his knapsack gone.

Are Max and Katie having any fun at all? Because, judging from her reaction on the Amazing Bathmat to coming in first and having won a car, she'd rather be having a root canal. Seriously, I've been way more excited than that when I find out there's going to be cupcakes. And Max has more than once remarked that normally he and Katie "wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this", instead of "excellent! I'd never get to see something like this anywhere else!" As much as Joey bugs the ever-livin' snot out of me, he gets big props from me for enjoying every single bit of this experience. But now that I know that Max likes Rush Limbaugh,all I care about is that Max doesn't win.

I think the worst part about that dive off the building would be the few seconds you'd be suspended off the platform, waiting for them to drop you off. Because that? would be awful. I'm with Tall Country Singer, I'm no adrenaline junkie.

Also, what was with Max pointing a finger at Katie and barking "Don't be uncomfortable!"? That seems a little harsh, don't you think? Can't she be uncomfortable while hauling a large, unwieldy neon letter if she likes?

I'm a little unclear, but was that the Hot Dog Vendor that we saw as the Greeter? I noticed there was no "Willkommen to Berlin!"

I did a lot of my university degree studying the Cold War and European and American history, and I understand that not everyone might have my knowledge of that era, but come ON, somebody thought that Ronald Reagan wanted to tear down the Great Wall of China? Or that Roosevelt was around when the Berlin Wall was built? There's no excuse for cultural ignorance. I'm looking at you Joey, who struggled with all that stuff, but probably knows Britney Spears kids names and every Kardashians' birthday.

Favorite Line of the Night: "I thought you were the cat police". Germany certainly is giving Japan a run for its money in the Strange Shit Olymics.

That maze is exactly what I imagine the inside of Charlie Sheen's brain to be like.
I am so very, very glad that we did not have to see Wynona slog through that place. Can you imagine?? The whining. The whining.

Oh, Mister German Train Conductor, I think I love you the most. Did you see his face when Joey screeched?

Doesn't is seem like another Race altogether when Conor and Dave were on this thing?

Next week: BAGPIPES! People have to play bagpipes! All I can think of is that episode of "Friends" where Ross decides play the bagpipes at Chandler and Monica's wedding!

Until next week!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Amazing Race 22, Episode 8

For crying out loud, I was seriously afraid that Wynona and Chuck (and us!) were not going to be put out of their collective misery just yet. Sweet Jesus but that woman can whine.
Chuck certainly didn't show himself in a particuarly good light this episode, but he gets a pass from me for literally dragging that woman's ass over three continents, including pushing her up a mountain with his head.
I think the thing that really got to me about this episode with Wynona is that, she never seemed to gain any confidence or think herself more capable, no matter what new experiences she had, or what she accomplished. It was like she was back at Day 1 every freaking time. And she never seemed to enjoy anything, at all, anywhere, she just focused on Chuck and his reaction to her.

I truly missed the laughing Swiss locals at the cheese challenge. Last time, one of the highlights of that event was the small crowd of indigenous people herniating themselves at a bunch of Americans skittering down a steep slope, followed by some rampaging cheese. Maybe the cold and snow kept them inside, laughing about the last time some inept Americans tried to wrangle some cheese.

There wasn't much chance for anyone to switch up the order on this leg....between the tasks, the trains and only having one rope to haul yourself up the mountain, the only way anyone would get ahead or behind was by getting lost. Which is what Joey and Meghan do best.

Speaking of Joey and Meghan, I actually liked Joey at the mat when he was conducting himself like a real, live boy, instead of a caffeine and sugar addled three-year old. He was really nice to Meghan when she was so upset. (I can tell you from bitter experience, that altitude stuff will kick. your. ass. It's like breathing with one lung, through a straw. I really felt for her.)
Too bad that Joey doesn't come out more often. When he was screeching like a banshee on that mountain, I was hoping it might trigger an avalanche. On the other hand, he really is having a blast on this thing. Hard to fault him to much.

I really felt for those dogs who did not want to get on the train. They reminded me of Wynona, except they didn't volunteer for this.

Katie really does have spectacular hair.

I want a sleddy little bicycle like that guy had! Of course, I live in a pretty flat place, albiet with snow, and I wonder how good that thing is for going home, but it still looked pretty nifty.

Every time I saw that guy with the Swiss horn I sang "Riiiiicola!" in my head.

Favorite lines of the night: Max: "this is a perfect time for a cow crossing", and Chuck " "I can't push both sleds and your ass."

As much as I like Bates and Anthony, it seems like a forgone conclusion that they're going to win this thing. A bit of a snooze, but what can you expect when they cast an alpha-male team?
I suspect that the Roller Derby moms will be in the final three as well. They don't get much air-time, those two, but they're good racers with very little drama.

Until next week!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Amazing Race 22, Episode 7

Man, it seemed like we would be getting rid of one of the two teams I dislike the most, and neither one of them goes! How fair is that?

I figured when Pam and Winnie started up with the whole "we have to be smart" stuff that they were doomed. That seems to be the kiss of death for most teams.

Chuck and Wynona have proved themselves to be a pretty good team, once she actually started to participate in this thing. I wish she would stop with the whining, though....she approaches every task with self-doubting moan, ("I'm nervous as hell!") and then does it just fine. They fall behind when physical speed is the important thing, but they excel at anything that involves putting your head down and plodding through.

I was suprised that Wynona didn't know that the "groundhog" was a "meerkat"....didn't she watch the "Lion King" with Chuck? How come she didn't recognize Timon?

Watching Joey for 5 minutes makes me feel like I've had too much caffeine. Maybe if he had stopped playing the eejit, as my dad would say, long enough to actually pay attention to the directions, they might not have gotten so lost. Meghan seems competent enough, and she certainly gets the job done, but she has my undying respect for spending this much time with him and not kicking him in the misters.

Oh, dear, that old metric system is a harsh mistress, no? Kilometers per hour and miles per hour are two very, very different things.
Yet again, we see that flirting is not a reliable plan of action. Has it ever? (I guess it has; Caroline said she's talked her way out of tickets before. Just not in Botswana.)
I did like the Boss Policeman chirping "have a nice day!" as they drove off with their ticket.

Man, Max was having a bad day, wasn't he? I was actually feeling a bit sorry for him when he hit that pole and then put on the windsheild wipers. I've been there. And then I remember what a tool he's been. Not as big a tool as his wife, however.
I love that Katie is "big hair, big brains" and then berates him when HE can't find the car. Man, she's a shrew. Even when her new husband is having the worst day of his life, she still can't help but correct his grammar. On national televsion. While she does nothing to help.

Maybe the Powers That Be thought that there would be more competition for that Fast Forward, but who else would go for it but the first team there? It does nothing to the outcome of the leg when the first team off the PitStart is a half an hour ahead of the next team out.

Also, I'm pretty sure that the crocodiles they showed were nowhere near the Hockey Players during that water skiing run, other than the one on the shore when they were done. I doubt they'd run the risk of having Racers actually being eaten by crocodiles. Perhaps they flooded that river with Valium or something, just to be sure.
I was worried that all those cute baby goats would be crocodile snacks if the Racers tipped those canoes.

By the way, canoeing is hard. The bit of canoeing I've done showed me how difficult it is to keep it going in the direction you want, while also not smacking your companion in the back of the head with your paddle. By accident, of course.

This was a great goats! crocodiles! DONKEYS! Donkeys are like India on this thing, they ususally make someone lose their shit altogther. I'm not sure what the Racers thought that bonking the donkey's noses with the carrots was going to do, but it certainly did not movitate those donkeys one bit.

Favorite Line of the Night: when Chuck said "spread your legs and run your hands up and down the pole". Because I am twelve.

Its the "Country Music Awards" next week, so we have to wait two weeks for the next leg. And, big surprise, Wynona grumbles across another continent!

Until two weeks!