Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Amazing Race 22, Episode 2

This entry is late because I didn't get to watch this episode of the Race until Monday night, which was too late to write about it. I usually have a better handle on my time, but not this week.

Man, how much would it suck if you finally got to go on the Amazing Race and you found yourself in one of the most beautiful places on earth and you realized that the one thing, the ONE THING you can't do, is the only thing  you have to do? I'll bet the Twins were hoping that they wouldn't have to swim until about the 8th leg, and after everyone else was felled by food poisoning and they had the option of paying someone else to do it, too.

I sure hope this doesn't turn out to be the "Amazing Skip the Task and Take the Penalty", because that is so not this game. If everyone quits every task and just sucks up the penalty, then it's going to be a snooze-fest very quickly.

Oh. My. GOD....read the clue! Read the clue! Read the clue!!! Read it again. All the way. I get that these guys are all hopped up on adrenaline and jumping out of their skins and excited as all get out, but for the love of all that is holy, read the damn clue!

Team Newlywed is very tiresome, and it's only the second leg. "We want to keep the only other team at the back with us, so that we know where they are and we can hand them their asses when it suits us to do so. But they left us! They don't play fair at all!" And really? "they're following us"? They're going to the same place you are, dumbasses.

I certainly had no idea that being a manager at Wal-Mart translated into so many diverse skills. Seriously, I'm not taking the piss out of the guy, it's just that I had no idea "I deal with many weirdos = I can walk on stilts". I can't wait to see what else he can do. And just for the record, I've never seen a Wal-Mart employee run, anywhere, ever.

I giggled every time someone said they had "rolled their nut across the line". Because I am 12.

Because this was a very water-focused episode, I found myself getting a little woozy with all the bobbing cameras popping in and out of the water. Between that and the skydiving last episode, I'd really like a leg on dry land, please.

Team YouTube was not nearly as annoying as I thought they would be. Which isn't much of an endorsement, really.

The water in Bora Bora looked so amazingly blue and clear.....and the camera work when they were jetskiing over to the second island was incredible. I'm putting Bora Bora on the list.

John and Jessica holding onto the second Express Pass because they "want the other teams to suck up a bit"? I'm sure that will totally work out, and no one will be pissed off, and it will never come to back to bite them in the asses. Like at a U-Turn. At least, I hope so.

I wonder what the Underwater Waiter puts on his passport application, under "occupation".

Next week: New Zealand! Remember the last time we went there, Phil's dad was one of the greeters! Also, I very much hope there is a Hobbit-themed task, which includes very large, hairy feet.

Until next week!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Amazing Race 22, Episode 1

Hello Race! Happy to see your sexy self again!

Does anyone else think it's okay to cull the herd a bit before getting really into knowing the teams? I always feel on the first episode as if I'm constantly trying to keep everyone straight, and can't pay much attention to exactly what's going on. Luckily, I think the producers have the same trouble, because with so many people, they can only really do two tasks the whole episode.

Is there really any reason at all to lie about what you do for a living on this show? Unless you are a "Reality Show Producer Who Thinks Up Tasks For Other People To Do", I'm not so sure any occupation gives you an advantage over any other. And as for the whole "we don't want people to think we dont' deserve the money" thing, it's not "Survivor", no one decides who gets the money. Besides, if it was a "deserving" thing, then they should only let homeless people participate on this.

As much as I loved the sky-diving thing, because WOW that place is beautiful! tasks like that don't really do much to shuffle the order. Unless, of course, you get someone who freaks out and won't go, which isn't likely on the first leg of the race. (Can you imagine? "I'm not doing that!" right out of the gate? Your partner would kill you, and there wouldn't be a jury who would convict.)

Why on earth do they cast so many young couples where she's all drooling to get married and he's all "things are fine the way they are" and they go on the race to see if their relationship will work? Because this dynamic is as unpleasant as it is unoriginal, and it would make me terribly sad to think that this is the overwhelming majority of twenty-somethings these days.

I spend more than my fair share of time on the "interwebs", as my mother calls it, and I've never heard of the so-called "YouTube phenomenoms". Which, considering his mugging and screeching and grandstanding for the cameras, might be good if it stayed that way. I mean, they've dubbed themselves "Team Cute" for crying out loud....that sort of douchebaggery shouldn't even be allowed by a just society.

I felt sort of bad for the firefighters until they made their "we're never going to live down the fact that we were beaten by two blonde girls" remark. Because being beaten by two brunettes would be totally okay.

I get that to have your child diagnosed with cancer must be all kinds of awful, and to see them suffer through the treatments would be horrible as well. But man, if that dad cries every time he talks about his son, it's going to be a very long season.

So far, I have no favorite team, but Team Newlywed is decidedly my least favorite team. She actually seems proud of the fact that she has few friends back home, (her bridesmaids from three weeks ago must have been delighted to hear that!) and he's enchanted by her ability to fake being nice to lesser mortals. I'm so glad they found each other.

Why did no one enlist the dog's help in digging up the sandcastles? I'll bet he'd have smoked that task. When he wasn't peeing on the sandcastles, of course.

Favorite Line of the Night: From one Hockey brother to another: "Do you have my teeth?"

Until next week!