Disappointed. I really wanted those cowboys to win. But at least Brent and Caite didn't win! I have to hand it to Jordan and Dan, moving up to first class to be off the plane faster was freaking brilliant. If I'd have been there, I'd be mad that I hadn't thought of it first.
Really, your backpack in second place in line means you are second place in line, even though you got there last? Is this the Amazing-6th-Grade-Field-Trip? If you are going to be a dick, that's fine, but own it and deal with the consequences, instead of asking for forgiveness...."hate the play but not the player"? Actually, I hate the player now. Besides, they were all going to be on the same flight; there was no advantage to checking in 10 minutes earlier. I'd be happier about them winning if it hadn't been for that.
I noticed there were no confessional interviews with Brent and Caite through the whole episode. Maybe they really did punch each other's faces in after the race, and weren't fit for television veiwing.
If I'd have been their cab driver, at the first "dumbass" I'd have purposely driven around in circles for hours and pretended I was blind and deaf. They'd still be in my cab today.
Man, Brandy is going to need to get LOTS of therapy after this. She is one angry chick. I can see her in a wheel chair in a nursing home 60 years from now ranting "...and then she U-TURNED US! And we weren't the team to U-Turn AT ALL!!" Maybe she should have been a contestant on "Survivor", that show has all kinds of opportunity for spewing vitrol based on bitterness and betrayal.
BTW, how come the Models hate the Lesbians for that remark about "her tiara", but don't hate Dan and Jordan for telling Brandy and Carol all about Caite's YouTube fame?
That final memory task was lame compared to other final tasks on other races. (Except the "eat the pizza" task in Chicago, that was the lamest.) I'm sorry we didn't get to see Brent and Caite do the memory challenge, it would have given them ample opportunity to show the world that they are intelligent people. Because apparently, they are, but I must have missed that.
How much did I love Cord for messing with Dan during the Star Wars challenge? That was hilarious...."now allamand left!" The best part was how it freaked Dan out completely.
Wouldn't it be awesome to have a "Fan Favorites" Amazing Race? We could have the Cowboys, and Danny and Oswald and Rob and Amber and Kris and John and The Clowns and the Grampa and Grandson from a few seasons ago...it would be fabulous, but I wouldn't know who to root for.
Until next season!
Showing posts with label Amazing Race 16. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amazing Race 16. Show all posts
Monday, May 10, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 10
Dear Caite,
I still think you are an idiot.
Love,
Mrs. Loudshoes.
She's very bitter about all that YouTube stuff, isn't she? I get that she wants to put it behind her, after all, I thank my lucky stars every day that there were no video cameras or YouTube around when I was 17, I'd have had to slit my wrists by now. But perhaps the best way to put that sort of thing behind you is to not bring it up on national television every ten minutes. Caite needs to realize that the word "smart" is a lot like the word "classy": if you have to tell everyone that you are, you are not.
I wonder what the detectives think of their well-groomed wolf-cubs now? Perhaps if they had U-turned a stronger team, rather than a team they didn't like, the cops would still be in this.
By the way, when I begin my new career as a criminal, I am totally going to start in Rhode Island, because the with those two on my tail, I'm sure to be a wild success. Seriously, two coats randomly hanging in the middle of a freeway MUST mean they contain a clue?? How does that work?
If I had heard that one of the racers had been kicked in the head by a horse, I'm pretty sure my money would not have been on Cord. Brent, maybe, but definitely not Cord.
Who loved the guy with his leg up on the railing, repeating every word Jordan and Dan said? I did! "Bridge?" "Bridge!" "You know where this bridge is??" "Bridge is!!". You can't make that stuff up.
Note to self: When applying to go on the Amazing Race, learn to say "follow", "fast" and "help me now" in every language possible. Also, it does not matter how slowly and loudly you say something in English, someone who does not speak English will still not understand you.
I liked when the Cowboys practically poked Brent in the eye pointing at their bags, but failed to notice Brent sitting right there. That "WTF" look he gave the camera was hilarious.
I have to tell you, I have the world's teensiest bladder and when I have to go to the bathroom, there's very little room for error. If I'd have been Brent, I'd have peed right in her backpack.
Those goggles were delightful. I especially liked Louis in them, he looked like some sort of cartoon character of a cop from the 30's, in a madcap romp through Shanghai.
Favorite Line of the Night: "Pigs are elusive". There's something so simple and wise about that.
I will be mighty pissed if Caite and Brent win this thing...I may have to break up with this show if that happens. I so hope that the final leg takes them to the Iraq....wouldn't that be a great big steaming pile of awesome? Maybe, if those two do come in for the final run up to the finish line, Carol and Brandy could tackle them and beat the snot out of them. That would make all my dreams come true.
Until next week!
I still think you are an idiot.
Love,
Mrs. Loudshoes.
She's very bitter about all that YouTube stuff, isn't she? I get that she wants to put it behind her, after all, I thank my lucky stars every day that there were no video cameras or YouTube around when I was 17, I'd have had to slit my wrists by now. But perhaps the best way to put that sort of thing behind you is to not bring it up on national television every ten minutes. Caite needs to realize that the word "smart" is a lot like the word "classy": if you have to tell everyone that you are, you are not.
I wonder what the detectives think of their well-groomed wolf-cubs now? Perhaps if they had U-turned a stronger team, rather than a team they didn't like, the cops would still be in this.
By the way, when I begin my new career as a criminal, I am totally going to start in Rhode Island, because the with those two on my tail, I'm sure to be a wild success. Seriously, two coats randomly hanging in the middle of a freeway MUST mean they contain a clue?? How does that work?
If I had heard that one of the racers had been kicked in the head by a horse, I'm pretty sure my money would not have been on Cord. Brent, maybe, but definitely not Cord.
Who loved the guy with his leg up on the railing, repeating every word Jordan and Dan said? I did! "Bridge?" "Bridge!" "You know where this bridge is??" "Bridge is!!". You can't make that stuff up.
Note to self: When applying to go on the Amazing Race, learn to say "follow", "fast" and "help me now" in every language possible. Also, it does not matter how slowly and loudly you say something in English, someone who does not speak English will still not understand you.
I liked when the Cowboys practically poked Brent in the eye pointing at their bags, but failed to notice Brent sitting right there. That "WTF" look he gave the camera was hilarious.
I have to tell you, I have the world's teensiest bladder and when I have to go to the bathroom, there's very little room for error. If I'd have been Brent, I'd have peed right in her backpack.
Those goggles were delightful. I especially liked Louis in them, he looked like some sort of cartoon character of a cop from the 30's, in a madcap romp through Shanghai.
Favorite Line of the Night: "Pigs are elusive". There's something so simple and wise about that.
I will be mighty pissed if Caite and Brent win this thing...I may have to break up with this show if that happens. I so hope that the final leg takes them to the Iraq....wouldn't that be a great big steaming pile of awesome? Maybe, if those two do come in for the final run up to the finish line, Carol and Brandy could tackle them and beat the snot out of them. That would make all my dreams come true.
Until next week!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 9
Remember back in the first episode where the Cowboys got Brazillian money to spend in Chile? And I thought they were so out of their element that they didn't stand a chance and that they'd go home soon? Turns out I was all kinds of wrong.
Seriously, is there anything they can't do? I loved when some one said that Jet finished the noodle task quickly because "he's got magical hands" or some such thing....that's the second time the Cowboys have been referred to as "magical".
I kept yelling "more flour!!" at the tv during the noodle task. If you've ever made your own pasta (and really, you shouldn't, it's a pain in the ass) you know to keep tossing it in flour, or else you will get a giant, wodgy mass of goo that will make you cry unattractively. Like Jordan.
Note to self: if you ever manage to be on this race or any other endeavor that involves tv cameras on you recording your every syllable, DO NOT gloat triumphantly about your evil cunning. It looks extremely toolish.
The brothers had the exact right idea about how to use a U-Turn. Yes, it is definitely part of the game, and it is not morally or ethically reprehensible to use it, but it is best used to thwart the team you think has the best chance of beating you, not to score childish points off the team you don't like.
Hello, Brent? Sicily is a lovely part of Italy, and has many, many fine attractions. However, if you HAD A MAP, which, according to your girlfriend, are in seriously short supply in the US, you would notice that Sicily is way down on an island near the toe of the boot of Italy, and Venice, which has canals and such as, is all the way on the opposite end of the country.
When Caite said "this all looks fake", that's probably because she thinks everywhere in the world is supposed to look like Epcot. Oh, the irony.
So many good lines last night! From the Cowboys "will you marry me? Now, hold that thought, I'll be right back." And "Tranquil.....write that down." And also "if he'd have jumped outta your trash can, he'd scare the daylights out of you". (So wrong, but so funny.) Also, "shopping wears me smooth out."
I liked the Detectives, after missing the entrance to the fashion house "what kind of detectives are we?" and "give me a shooting task or a crack head to run down."
At the fashion house, Thing 1 and I would have been in some serious trouble, because she would have gotten so distracted and wanted to shop that I'd have had a meltdown.
I felt a little bit bad for Brent when his puzzle pieces flew away. But then Cord said "whoa, wind", like he could just calm it down a bit if he handled it right.
I'm not sure how I feel about the inclusion of Pingping....it seemed a bit like he was plunked down there like a Travelocity Gnome just for decoration. On the other hand, from what I can see on the net, that's the way he made a living, showing up for stuff and being seen. I don't suppose he had many other ways to make a living, frankly, and therefore, maybe my sensitivity is misplaced. It did not help when Caite reacted to him like he was a poodle in a tutu.
Phil enjoyed that Non-elimination just a little too much, if you ask me.
It's anonymous around here, we'd like the Cowboys to win.
Seriously, is there anything they can't do? I loved when some one said that Jet finished the noodle task quickly because "he's got magical hands" or some such thing....that's the second time the Cowboys have been referred to as "magical".
I kept yelling "more flour!!" at the tv during the noodle task. If you've ever made your own pasta (and really, you shouldn't, it's a pain in the ass) you know to keep tossing it in flour, or else you will get a giant, wodgy mass of goo that will make you cry unattractively. Like Jordan.
Note to self: if you ever manage to be on this race or any other endeavor that involves tv cameras on you recording your every syllable, DO NOT gloat triumphantly about your evil cunning. It looks extremely toolish.
The brothers had the exact right idea about how to use a U-Turn. Yes, it is definitely part of the game, and it is not morally or ethically reprehensible to use it, but it is best used to thwart the team you think has the best chance of beating you, not to score childish points off the team you don't like.
Hello, Brent? Sicily is a lovely part of Italy, and has many, many fine attractions. However, if you HAD A MAP, which, according to your girlfriend, are in seriously short supply in the US, you would notice that Sicily is way down on an island near the toe of the boot of Italy, and Venice, which has canals and such as, is all the way on the opposite end of the country.
When Caite said "this all looks fake", that's probably because she thinks everywhere in the world is supposed to look like Epcot. Oh, the irony.
So many good lines last night! From the Cowboys "will you marry me? Now, hold that thought, I'll be right back." And "Tranquil.....write that down." And also "if he'd have jumped outta your trash can, he'd scare the daylights out of you". (So wrong, but so funny.) Also, "shopping wears me smooth out."
I liked the Detectives, after missing the entrance to the fashion house "what kind of detectives are we?" and "give me a shooting task or a crack head to run down."
At the fashion house, Thing 1 and I would have been in some serious trouble, because she would have gotten so distracted and wanted to shop that I'd have had a meltdown.
I felt a little bit bad for Brent when his puzzle pieces flew away. But then Cord said "whoa, wind", like he could just calm it down a bit if he handled it right.
I'm not sure how I feel about the inclusion of Pingping....it seemed a bit like he was plunked down there like a Travelocity Gnome just for decoration. On the other hand, from what I can see on the net, that's the way he made a living, showing up for stuff and being seen. I don't suppose he had many other ways to make a living, frankly, and therefore, maybe my sensitivity is misplaced. It did not help when Caite reacted to him like he was a poodle in a tutu.
Phil enjoyed that Non-elimination just a little too much, if you ask me.
It's anonymous around here, we'd like the Cowboys to win.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 8
Right about now, we are at the point where I spend the opening credits going "who's that?", and "oh, right, they were in this season." Some of these teams were a LONG time ago.
Caite and Brent just get more and more pleasant, don't they? Not that I think they shouldn't have used the U-Turn; it's part of the game, and more power to those who use it. However, I think they U-Turned the wrong team....using it against a team who is stronger than you seems to me to be the better strategy, though, rather than use it against a team for whom you have a rather personal vendetta. (But the U-Turn and the Yeild tend to be the weapon of choice for those with an axe to grind. Just ask the Weavers, from the Family Edition, who were Yeilded twice, mostly because they were obnoxious and other teams were fighting to get the chance to stick it to them.)
If the Detectives manoevered Caite and Brent to u-Turn Carol and Brandy as a strategy to A) knock out a good team without dirtying their own hands, and B) getting the models to not see that they, the detectives, are their major competition at the finish line, then that is one amazing bit of strategy, and good on them. If they groomed Caite and Brent to U-Turn Carol and Brandy because they just plain don't like them, then they are douchebags.
I get that Carol and Brandy were frustrated and disappointed and mad, but, man, some of that was hard to watch. Note to self: if you are ever on national television, no matter how pissed off you are, remember that you are on national televison. And then shut. up. I'm not sorry to see them go; they didn't seem to be enjoying themselves very much. I did like the bit about Caite looking like Cruella DeVille. That made me laugh.
Asian Phil! How cute was he!
The brothers are growing on me very much. I LOVED that Boy Jordan put on his big boy underpants and powered through that Fast Forward, even though he was shaking like a kitten up there. And Dan was very supportive without being pushy or fake....he never once called his brother "baby" for instance. And I loved their reaction when they were told they won motorbikes: "No way! Our mom would never let us ride those things!". By the way, I wonder what their mother thinks about the bungee jumping, the high-wire climbing, the crawling through a battlefield and the clamboring along the top of a ferris wheel at 500 feet. Maybe a motorbike doesn't seem like such a bad thing now.
Did you see some of the kinds of ice cream they had to sell? Corn?? Red Bean Paste?? MANGO MEAT??? And I don't think I will be eating my ice cream enveloped in Wonder Bread any time soon, either.
One more thing to put on the List Of Things To Bring With Me on The Race: a counter. And disinfecting wipes. (Thank you Dan and Jordan!) Along with duct tape, WD-40, a calculator and sunscreen.
The only thing that would have made me mad about winning the Fast Forward would be missing that zip line thing...that looked sweet.
During the counting task, I don't think the guy hammering away on the steel plate was actually doing anything other than hammering away on the steel plate. From what I could tell, he just had a big old clanging hunk of steel and he was whaling away on that for no discerable purpose, other than to beat the tar out of it and make as much noise as possible in the process. I want that job.
When Brent said "Ladies get what they want, bitches don't get anything", I thought he should spend a bit of time in high school. In my experience, bitches do just fine.
Two weeks!!
Caite and Brent just get more and more pleasant, don't they? Not that I think they shouldn't have used the U-Turn; it's part of the game, and more power to those who use it. However, I think they U-Turned the wrong team....using it against a team who is stronger than you seems to me to be the better strategy, though, rather than use it against a team for whom you have a rather personal vendetta. (But the U-Turn and the Yeild tend to be the weapon of choice for those with an axe to grind. Just ask the Weavers, from the Family Edition, who were Yeilded twice, mostly because they were obnoxious and other teams were fighting to get the chance to stick it to them.)
It does occur to me, and it was demonstrated by Dan and Jordan, that being pleasant and getting along with your fellow racers might not be a huge advantage in the race, but it does mean that you have less of a chance of being Yeilded or U-turned.
If the Detectives manoevered Caite and Brent to u-Turn Carol and Brandy as a strategy to A) knock out a good team without dirtying their own hands, and B) getting the models to not see that they, the detectives, are their major competition at the finish line, then that is one amazing bit of strategy, and good on them. If they groomed Caite and Brent to U-Turn Carol and Brandy because they just plain don't like them, then they are douchebags.
I get that Carol and Brandy were frustrated and disappointed and mad, but, man, some of that was hard to watch. Note to self: if you are ever on national television, no matter how pissed off you are, remember that you are on national televison. And then shut. up. I'm not sorry to see them go; they didn't seem to be enjoying themselves very much. I did like the bit about Caite looking like Cruella DeVille. That made me laugh.
Asian Phil! How cute was he!
The brothers are growing on me very much. I LOVED that Boy Jordan put on his big boy underpants and powered through that Fast Forward, even though he was shaking like a kitten up there. And Dan was very supportive without being pushy or fake....he never once called his brother "baby" for instance. And I loved their reaction when they were told they won motorbikes: "No way! Our mom would never let us ride those things!". By the way, I wonder what their mother thinks about the bungee jumping, the high-wire climbing, the crawling through a battlefield and the clamboring along the top of a ferris wheel at 500 feet. Maybe a motorbike doesn't seem like such a bad thing now.
Did you see some of the kinds of ice cream they had to sell? Corn?? Red Bean Paste?? MANGO MEAT??? And I don't think I will be eating my ice cream enveloped in Wonder Bread any time soon, either.
One more thing to put on the List Of Things To Bring With Me on The Race: a counter. And disinfecting wipes. (Thank you Dan and Jordan!) Along with duct tape, WD-40, a calculator and sunscreen.
The only thing that would have made me mad about winning the Fast Forward would be missing that zip line thing...that looked sweet.
During the counting task, I don't think the guy hammering away on the steel plate was actually doing anything other than hammering away on the steel plate. From what I could tell, he just had a big old clanging hunk of steel and he was whaling away on that for no discerable purpose, other than to beat the tar out of it and make as much noise as possible in the process. I want that job.
When Brent said "Ladies get what they want, bitches don't get anything", I thought he should spend a bit of time in high school. In my experience, bitches do just fine.
Two weeks!!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 8
For all that they tried to make that ending suspenseful, it was pretty obvious from about 8:30 on that Steve and Allie were going to be eliminated. They just made too many small errors to be able to make up time. I really liked them and am sorry to see them go....it was nice to see such a good dynamic between a parent and a child on this race....remember scrrrreeeechy Ron and his long-suffering daughter Christina from Race 12? At least they don't have to run the rest of the race in borrowed underwear and no socks.
Oh, my gravy, those Cowboys are fierce, no? That was quite a performance from those two.
How long do you think they made that guy stand in the ocean at the Roadblock? Because he was only up to his knees when Jet came by, but by the time Caite and Jordan and Allie did it, he was practically afloat. Do you think they let him out between racers, or did he have to stand in the water the whole day? These are the kind of questions I ask myself when I'm watching this sort of thing.
So many good lines last night, but my Favorite Exchange of the Night was Steve with the cabbie:
Steve: "Do you know where this is?", Cabbie: "I don't know", Steve: "What?", Cabbie: "No problem".
Also: "It takes a big man to fill his pants, but I'll try."
I'm really hoping that the cops don't really like Caite and Brent, they're just flattering them into a false sense of security to ally with them, then they'll throw those two under a bus right at the end.
Every time Princess Sparkle-Headband spat out "the lesbians", Thing 1 and I shouted "they have names, you know" at our tv. Seriously, how do you think it would go over if she refered to Dan and Jordan as "the Jews"? At least she is providing a Very Valuable Lesson in Public Relations for my children.
When they came to the Amazing Bathmat and Phil told them they were "team number 4" and they said "we'll take that"....Gaaaahh.....Did they have a choice? These two get on my last nerve.
I can only imagine the language in those cameramans' heads when Steve and Allie, and Dan and Jordan unloaded from those cabs...."are you freaking kidding me?? I've got to run up that stupid hill in this heat, with 40 pounds of camera on my shoulder?? Get back in the cab!!"
Was anyone else a little concerned for Louis's pulmonary health during that protracted coughing fit? Because I'm no medical man, but I'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with cardio fitness, and everything to do with your lungs saying "you know what? we quit".
I want a big giant swing, and someone to bring me tea. That would be the best day ever.
Did you see Cord shake the guru's hand? Such a nice boy.
I expect a U-Turn of Carol and Brandy next week.
Until then!
Oh, my gravy, those Cowboys are fierce, no? That was quite a performance from those two.
How long do you think they made that guy stand in the ocean at the Roadblock? Because he was only up to his knees when Jet came by, but by the time Caite and Jordan and Allie did it, he was practically afloat. Do you think they let him out between racers, or did he have to stand in the water the whole day? These are the kind of questions I ask myself when I'm watching this sort of thing.
So many good lines last night, but my Favorite Exchange of the Night was Steve with the cabbie:
Steve: "Do you know where this is?", Cabbie: "I don't know", Steve: "What?", Cabbie: "No problem".
Also: "It takes a big man to fill his pants, but I'll try."
I'm really hoping that the cops don't really like Caite and Brent, they're just flattering them into a false sense of security to ally with them, then they'll throw those two under a bus right at the end.
Every time Princess Sparkle-Headband spat out "the lesbians", Thing 1 and I shouted "they have names, you know" at our tv. Seriously, how do you think it would go over if she refered to Dan and Jordan as "the Jews"? At least she is providing a Very Valuable Lesson in Public Relations for my children.
When they came to the Amazing Bathmat and Phil told them they were "team number 4" and they said "we'll take that"....Gaaaahh.....Did they have a choice? These two get on my last nerve.
I can only imagine the language in those cameramans' heads when Steve and Allie, and Dan and Jordan unloaded from those cabs...."are you freaking kidding me?? I've got to run up that stupid hill in this heat, with 40 pounds of camera on my shoulder?? Get back in the cab!!"
Was anyone else a little concerned for Louis's pulmonary health during that protracted coughing fit? Because I'm no medical man, but I'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with cardio fitness, and everything to do with your lungs saying "you know what? we quit".
I want a big giant swing, and someone to bring me tea. That would be the best day ever.
Did you see Cord shake the guru's hand? Such a nice boy.
I expect a U-Turn of Carol and Brandy next week.
Until then!
Monday, March 29, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 7
Dear Cowboys: Don't make me come over there and smack you. I know you are exhausted and befuddled and hatless, but you are making very sloppy mistakes and making my heart race (and not in a good way) and were kind of rude to Phil. Knock it off. Love, Mrs. Loudshoes.
Caite and Brent are just such a delightful couple to watch, no? Their happy demeanor and calm, positive outlook make it a pleasure to have them on my screen. Who else do you know who can bitterly mutter "no, you're an idiot" to their partner and then a short while later yell "good job, baby, I love you!" without even the tiniest bit of self-awareness? Not to mention, they are so nice about the other teams. The way they spit out "mean lesbians" like it was some sort of curse, I'm sure it's meant as an endearment. Except neither one of them would know what that word meant.
Speaking of Caite and Brent, even that ox was rolling it's eyes at "it's so unfair!". Caite maybe needs to investigate the definition of "unfair"....exempting YOU from the rules of the task while requiring everyone else to do so is actually "unfair".
I absolutely freaking adored Cheerful Coconut Accepting Man. "You do not have enough coconuts." And that he just kept saying it with that happy, happy grin on his face, which only got bigger the more the teams protested. I loved him.
How on earth did nobody name their ox "Colin"? And not ONE "my turtle is broken". Have they seen the show before? I'm disappointed.
So, Steve and Allie losing their backpacks? I wonder how that's going to go. I really liked the way the dad talked her into accepting the situation, and how she just dealt with it....can you imagine if Caite had to go the rest of the race without her eyeliner, or Brandy without her caviar? I wonder if they can get the 7 grand now, instead of after the race, and get some more duct tape?
Kudos to the Amazing Cameramen tonight! That shot of the tortoise happily munching down on the banana right beside Steve and Allie's backpacks was pure gold! Not to mention the numerous shots of abandoned coconuts sitting on the ground. And who ever got the shot of Brandy and Carol running over a coconut while they were leaving was brilliant! (Especially with the voiceover of one of them saying "someone has to make a mistake somewhere.") Excellent work, boys.
I give Brandy one thing: she was the only one who pronounced "Seychelles" properly, and had an idea of where on earth they were going.
How can the Detectives ramble on about Brandy and Carol's negative energy and it's effect on the rest of the racers with Brent and Caite, who threatened to quit that day, standing right next to them?? Phil is a naughty boy for putting gasoline on that crazy fire.
Until next week!
Caite and Brent are just such a delightful couple to watch, no? Their happy demeanor and calm, positive outlook make it a pleasure to have them on my screen. Who else do you know who can bitterly mutter "no, you're an idiot" to their partner and then a short while later yell "good job, baby, I love you!" without even the tiniest bit of self-awareness? Not to mention, they are so nice about the other teams. The way they spit out "mean lesbians" like it was some sort of curse, I'm sure it's meant as an endearment. Except neither one of them would know what that word meant.
Speaking of Caite and Brent, even that ox was rolling it's eyes at "it's so unfair!". Caite maybe needs to investigate the definition of "unfair"....exempting YOU from the rules of the task while requiring everyone else to do so is actually "unfair".
I absolutely freaking adored Cheerful Coconut Accepting Man. "You do not have enough coconuts." And that he just kept saying it with that happy, happy grin on his face, which only got bigger the more the teams protested. I loved him.
How on earth did nobody name their ox "Colin"? And not ONE "my turtle is broken". Have they seen the show before? I'm disappointed.
So, Steve and Allie losing their backpacks? I wonder how that's going to go. I really liked the way the dad talked her into accepting the situation, and how she just dealt with it....can you imagine if Caite had to go the rest of the race without her eyeliner, or Brandy without her caviar? I wonder if they can get the 7 grand now, instead of after the race, and get some more duct tape?
Kudos to the Amazing Cameramen tonight! That shot of the tortoise happily munching down on the banana right beside Steve and Allie's backpacks was pure gold! Not to mention the numerous shots of abandoned coconuts sitting on the ground. And who ever got the shot of Brandy and Carol running over a coconut while they were leaving was brilliant! (Especially with the voiceover of one of them saying "someone has to make a mistake somewhere.") Excellent work, boys.
I give Brandy one thing: she was the only one who pronounced "Seychelles" properly, and had an idea of where on earth they were going.
How can the Detectives ramble on about Brandy and Carol's negative energy and it's effect on the rest of the racers with Brent and Caite, who threatened to quit that day, standing right next to them?? Phil is a naughty boy for putting gasoline on that crazy fire.
Until next week!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 6
For the love of all that is holy.....Joan of Arc is NOT Noah's wife!! Jeesh. I wonder if Caite thinks that Joan of Arc wandered around northern France collecting up the animals two by two to have them run over the invading English? She must not have ever seen "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"....Miss of Arc shows up there.
I learn so much from this show, for example, good-looking people are not to be trusted on matters of directions. Also, French people do not speak much English. Imagine that!
I wish Jordan and Jeff did not go before Caite and Brent, simply because even though the two of them are as thick as two short planks, they were nice to each other, and enjoyed themselves and generally were entertaining. If I have to watch bumblers, at least I can like them.... "We are the reason kids should stay in school!" They really didn't have too much of a chance to catch up; they left almost 3 hours behind the detectives.
One more thing to put on my List Of Things To Bring on the Race: Duct Tape. Already on the list? calculator, Chinese-English dictionary, WD-40 and a humongous atlas.
I think Brandy's default settings are just set to "Bitch". She's one of those people who just complains and whines and natters about every. little. thing. she's even the slightest bit unhappy with. I'm sure it's a coping mechanism of sorts, but it's very tiresome for the rest of us. And yes, I get it: you are a refined, sophisticated woman of the world who is used to the finer things in life, and this race is completely without reason. Now shut up about it.
I've finally figured out who the detectives remind me of...it was driving me crazy! Bert and Ernie!
Seriously, is it that hard to find crack in someone's backside? I guess it depends on how much crack they have up there.
Caite is really not doing much to "re-habilitate" her image here. She came on the race to show that she's not dumb, but not only is she not doing that (Joan of Ark IS A GUY!), but she's coming off as a major passive-aggresshole. That whole "you make the decision, but it's going to be WRONG" shit pushes every last one of my buttons. And I was beginning to LIKE her last week! How did either of them not notice that they were running up to the Pit Stop but had not been instructed to do so? The "what the hell" look from Phil and Brandy were both hilarious.
I still love the cowboys, and I really love the "Indiana Jones" music that accompanies them.
Until next week!
I learn so much from this show, for example, good-looking people are not to be trusted on matters of directions. Also, French people do not speak much English. Imagine that!
I wish Jordan and Jeff did not go before Caite and Brent, simply because even though the two of them are as thick as two short planks, they were nice to each other, and enjoyed themselves and generally were entertaining. If I have to watch bumblers, at least I can like them.... "We are the reason kids should stay in school!" They really didn't have too much of a chance to catch up; they left almost 3 hours behind the detectives.
One more thing to put on my List Of Things To Bring on the Race: Duct Tape. Already on the list? calculator, Chinese-English dictionary, WD-40 and a humongous atlas.
I think Brandy's default settings are just set to "Bitch". She's one of those people who just complains and whines and natters about every. little. thing. she's even the slightest bit unhappy with. I'm sure it's a coping mechanism of sorts, but it's very tiresome for the rest of us. And yes, I get it: you are a refined, sophisticated woman of the world who is used to the finer things in life, and this race is completely without reason. Now shut up about it.
I've finally figured out who the detectives remind me of...it was driving me crazy! Bert and Ernie!
Seriously, is it that hard to find crack in someone's backside? I guess it depends on how much crack they have up there.
That tower of glasses task was brutal, I can't believe anyone managed it. It was delightful, though, how l-o-o-o-o-ng it took for Caite and BreNt's tower to fall, that just went on forever.
Caite is really not doing much to "re-habilitate" her image here. She came on the race to show that she's not dumb, but not only is she not doing that (Joan of Ark IS A GUY!), but she's coming off as a major passive-aggresshole. That whole "you make the decision, but it's going to be WRONG" shit pushes every last one of my buttons. And I was beginning to LIKE her last week! How did either of them not notice that they were running up to the Pit Stop but had not been instructed to do so? The "what the hell" look from Phil and Brandy were both hilarious.
I still love the cowboys, and I really love the "Indiana Jones" music that accompanies them.
Until next week!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 5
Dear Whiney Lesbian: Actually, this is exactly what you signed up for. It wasn't even in the fine print, this is the whole enchilada. Have you seen this show before? Also? It IS everybody for themselves....It's a RACE!! God.
Favorite Line of the Night, from Brent: "Oh, look, they have some sort of flying things!" I believe those are called "planes", Brent, and I think you've actually been in one. I'm still trying to figure out what he meant by "Do you go south as in a direction, or south as in just go in that direction."
Also, the "????" subtitle and "Get your boobs on the ground and drag them over here."
Was anybody else slightly disturbed that all the racers seemed to think that they were involved in a reinactment of World War II? I realize that the French fought the Germans in that war, too, but there was a rather large war in the early part of the century that the Americans participated in as well. An entirely separate conflict that was devoid of Nazis.
That Morse code task looked like it would crush your soul to tiny little pieces. When they presented the choices, I knew that that one would be horrible to get through; Morse code is NOT easy. I do wish one other team had chosen that one, so that we might have gotten an idea as to just how tough it was...Joe and Heidi were clearly not on their game by the time they got to it, and it's hard to tell if it was just too hard or if they were too distracted and tired.
Thing 1 and I would have gone back to that bakery and gotten another couple of baguettes. We are carb queens.
Somewhere in France, there is a very confused pigeon owner who wonders "what war?".
Caite is not my favorite racer, but I have to hand the girl some credit for her attitude. I thought she'd bitch her way through all that crawling, AND the retracing of steps, but she handled it with much more good humor than expected. Can you imagine if Brandy had had to go back and get that clue??
Maybe if Joe had kept his mouth shut on the bus, they wouldn't have been U-Turned. I know the point of the U-Turn is to slow down a team that you think might be your biggest threat, but really? it's used to nail a team you don't like. It pays to not piss off anyone else.
I love those cowboys. "You don't have to pedal a horse."
Favorite Line of the Night, from Brent: "Oh, look, they have some sort of flying things!" I believe those are called "planes", Brent, and I think you've actually been in one. I'm still trying to figure out what he meant by "Do you go south as in a direction, or south as in just go in that direction."
Also, the "????" subtitle and "Get your boobs on the ground and drag them over here."
Was anybody else slightly disturbed that all the racers seemed to think that they were involved in a reinactment of World War II? I realize that the French fought the Germans in that war, too, but there was a rather large war in the early part of the century that the Americans participated in as well. An entirely separate conflict that was devoid of Nazis.
That Morse code task looked like it would crush your soul to tiny little pieces. When they presented the choices, I knew that that one would be horrible to get through; Morse code is NOT easy. I do wish one other team had chosen that one, so that we might have gotten an idea as to just how tough it was...Joe and Heidi were clearly not on their game by the time they got to it, and it's hard to tell if it was just too hard or if they were too distracted and tired.
Thing 1 and I would have gone back to that bakery and gotten another couple of baguettes. We are carb queens.
Somewhere in France, there is a very confused pigeon owner who wonders "what war?".
Caite is not my favorite racer, but I have to hand the girl some credit for her attitude. I thought she'd bitch her way through all that crawling, AND the retracing of steps, but she handled it with much more good humor than expected. Can you imagine if Brandy had had to go back and get that clue??
Maybe if Joe had kept his mouth shut on the bus, they wouldn't have been U-Turned. I know the point of the U-Turn is to slow down a team that you think might be your biggest threat, but really? it's used to nail a team you don't like. It pays to not piss off anyone else.
I love those cowboys. "You don't have to pedal a horse."
Monday, March 8, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 4
So glad Jordan and Jeff are not out...I'm beginning to love those two. She had my favorite line of the night: "If we are eliminated, I'm going back to that bar.".
Other Favorite Line of the Night: "She's like my cool, lesbian aunt."from one of the brothers that I still can't tell the gay from the straight.
Holy schnikes, how did that hat stay on??? I'm pretty sure I'd have lost most of my clothing (and all of my dignity) on that bungee jump, including any head gear I might be wearing.
Although I don't like Brandy and Carol too much (Brandy's a bigger pain in the ass than Carol) I have to give them credit for seeing that their attitude towards one another on the last leg affected their game, and adjusted it accordingly. Usually when a team says "we're going to behave better", it means "I expect my team mate to behave better."
I did enjoy Brandy's freak out when she realized that the bungee jump would leave her upside down, like jumping from an freakishly tall thing was one thing, but being upside down for most of it was just beyond all reason. I believe that unless the bungee cord is around your neck, you are going to have to be hanging from your feet at some point.
Can you imagine if they had done all the tasks in reverse order last night? First the beer and then the sauerkraut and then the bungee jump? That would have made for an interesting pit stop. Maybe they'd have had to have Phil in the bathroom.
Thing 1 and I would have HAD to do the sauerkraut task because there is no way on God's green earth that either one of us would have hit any of those soccer targets. We would still be there today. It was the cowboys' first time on a soccer field? Come on.
Also, since Thing 1 has a gag reflex that can be triggered at the mere smell of vinegar, I know I'd be doing all the work on that one. Not that crazy about sauerkraut, but I could do it....it's not camel heads or fish eyeballs or chicken feet like in previous seasons. I loved Jordan plugging her ears whilst eating the sauerkraut, like that would make it taste better.
I think we'd have a bit of trouble with the beer challenge; that was a LOT of beer. Can you imagine Thing 1 and I arriving at that pit stop after that? After we staggered along that red light district, we'd be drunk and burpy and have to pee like crazy and probably be wildly inappropriate with Phil.
Why did everyone hate that German beer? German beer is awesome. I LOVED the two guys in the bar, sniggering at everyone....drunken locals are always welcome on my race.
Did you know there was a father-daughter team named Steve and Allie on this race? They just showed up last night.
Can anyone explain why Joe and Heidi decided to team up with Steve and Allie on the Intersection because "they come from a good family"? Because it's not like they were arranging a marriage or anything, they were bungee jumping. That seemed like a ridiculous criteria to me.
Those Beatle impersonators didn't sound any more like the Beatles than I do.
Other Favorite Line of the Night: "She's like my cool, lesbian aunt."from one of the brothers that I still can't tell the gay from the straight.
Holy schnikes, how did that hat stay on??? I'm pretty sure I'd have lost most of my clothing (and all of my dignity) on that bungee jump, including any head gear I might be wearing.
Although I don't like Brandy and Carol too much (Brandy's a bigger pain in the ass than Carol) I have to give them credit for seeing that their attitude towards one another on the last leg affected their game, and adjusted it accordingly. Usually when a team says "we're going to behave better", it means "I expect my team mate to behave better."
I did enjoy Brandy's freak out when she realized that the bungee jump would leave her upside down, like jumping from an freakishly tall thing was one thing, but being upside down for most of it was just beyond all reason. I believe that unless the bungee cord is around your neck, you are going to have to be hanging from your feet at some point.
Can you imagine if they had done all the tasks in reverse order last night? First the beer and then the sauerkraut and then the bungee jump? That would have made for an interesting pit stop. Maybe they'd have had to have Phil in the bathroom.
Thing 1 and I would have HAD to do the sauerkraut task because there is no way on God's green earth that either one of us would have hit any of those soccer targets. We would still be there today. It was the cowboys' first time on a soccer field? Come on.
Also, since Thing 1 has a gag reflex that can be triggered at the mere smell of vinegar, I know I'd be doing all the work on that one. Not that crazy about sauerkraut, but I could do it....it's not camel heads or fish eyeballs or chicken feet like in previous seasons. I loved Jordan plugging her ears whilst eating the sauerkraut, like that would make it taste better.
I think we'd have a bit of trouble with the beer challenge; that was a LOT of beer. Can you imagine Thing 1 and I arriving at that pit stop after that? After we staggered along that red light district, we'd be drunk and burpy and have to pee like crazy and probably be wildly inappropriate with Phil.
Why did everyone hate that German beer? German beer is awesome. I LOVED the two guys in the bar, sniggering at everyone....drunken locals are always welcome on my race.
Did you know there was a father-daughter team named Steve and Allie on this race? They just showed up last night.
Can anyone explain why Joe and Heidi decided to team up with Steve and Allie on the Intersection because "they come from a good family"? Because it's not like they were arranging a marriage or anything, they were bungee jumping. That seemed like a ridiculous criteria to me.
Those Beatle impersonators didn't sound any more like the Beatles than I do.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 3
I think I could seriously love those cowboys. Except I'd have to teach them how to swear. The are sneaky smart...pulling over to the side of the road? Excellent. AND they recogized Butch Cassidy. Woo hoo!
Oh my gravy! Read the clue read the clue READ THE CLUE!!!!! Serioulsly, how many of them would have finished that "Horse Sense" task sooner if they had just read the freaking clue better???
I liked the moms, and am sorry to see them go. They were very nice to each other. Maybe they should have prayed a little earlier. Can you imagine the Gaybros from last season at that lassoing task?
Jerome the Gnome! Good to see you again. I liked when the one cowboy (I still have no idea who is who.) deadpanned "the gnome has a very good poker face, I couldn't tell when he was bluffing at all. He should go to Vegas." I saw everyone hauling Jerome the Gnome around, but did anyone give it to Phil at the Amazing Bathmat? I didn't see anyone do so...maybe they still have Jerome.
The Lesbian Team is going to implode, I just know it. They seem to have no ability to roll with the punches...they're having the sort of fights we usually see at around episode 8 or 9. But Carol did have the Favorite Line of the Night: "Pretend it's my face."
My other Favorite Line of the Night: "I'm 57, what doesn't hurt." That came from the Most Anonymous Team Ever, the father and daughter who painted the random room in Chile. They seem to only show up for a minute or two every episode.
Oh, and "We should never reproduce."
That Head Bandit was definitely a bad ass. I could just tell.
Man, I've had food poisoning a couple of times, and believe me, there is no "guessing" about it involved whatsoever. It's nasty, like your body says "everybody out! Two exits! No waiting!" At first you are afraid you're going to die, and then you're afraid you're NOT going to die. Its truly awful, and there's no way I'd have been able to get up and go after a few hours, even with an IV. Speaking of which, would you EVER go to a hospital in a foreign country where you didn't speak the language and let them do anything to you unless it was a life-or-death emergency???? Not me.
Note to self: book a holiday to Argentina and Chile immediately. It looks spectacular.
Until next week!
Oh my gravy! Read the clue read the clue READ THE CLUE!!!!! Serioulsly, how many of them would have finished that "Horse Sense" task sooner if they had just read the freaking clue better???
I liked the moms, and am sorry to see them go. They were very nice to each other. Maybe they should have prayed a little earlier. Can you imagine the Gaybros from last season at that lassoing task?
Jerome the Gnome! Good to see you again. I liked when the one cowboy (I still have no idea who is who.) deadpanned "the gnome has a very good poker face, I couldn't tell when he was bluffing at all. He should go to Vegas." I saw everyone hauling Jerome the Gnome around, but did anyone give it to Phil at the Amazing Bathmat? I didn't see anyone do so...maybe they still have Jerome.
The Lesbian Team is going to implode, I just know it. They seem to have no ability to roll with the punches...they're having the sort of fights we usually see at around episode 8 or 9. But Carol did have the Favorite Line of the Night: "Pretend it's my face."
My other Favorite Line of the Night: "I'm 57, what doesn't hurt." That came from the Most Anonymous Team Ever, the father and daughter who painted the random room in Chile. They seem to only show up for a minute or two every episode.
Oh, and "We should never reproduce."
That Head Bandit was definitely a bad ass. I could just tell.
Man, I've had food poisoning a couple of times, and believe me, there is no "guessing" about it involved whatsoever. It's nasty, like your body says "everybody out! Two exits! No waiting!" At first you are afraid you're going to die, and then you're afraid you're NOT going to die. Its truly awful, and there's no way I'd have been able to get up and go after a few hours, even with an IV. Speaking of which, would you EVER go to a hospital in a foreign country where you didn't speak the language and let them do anything to you unless it was a life-or-death emergency???? Not me.
Note to self: book a holiday to Argentina and Chile immediately. It looks spectacular.
Until next week!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 2
Oh my gravy! That was sweet! I loved that the cowboys not only found a way to get there before everyone else, they also found a way to shut up about it!!! That sort of discretion is in very short supply on reality television. I know if I had been that clever as to find out that the other bus left from another terminal, I'd have been hard pressed not to be all shouty and self-congratulatory on the subject. Turns out the cowboys really ARE magical people!
I have got to find a way to work the words "and when your llama is properly adorned" into a sentence sometime soon.
I'm sure the Flight of the Majestic Condor segment sounded way, way better in the production meeting than it turned out. Can't you just see it? "And then they put on condor feet, and run off the end of the dock, and sail, SAIL over to the clue, just like an actual condor! It will be magnificent, trust me!"
I'm sure there aren't official rules against "saving spots" for other teams, but why would you want to? The unofficial rules of society mean that you are brewing up a whole lot of bad feelings onto yourself for very little payoff; allying with one team to piss off all the other teams does not seem to be a good strategy. Besides, in 15 seasons, I've yet to see an alliance that did not pay off big time for one team, and bite the other team in the ass.
I liked Granny and Granddaughter, but I'm not sure what they thought they were doing. Keeping positive and thinking happy thoughts is surely important, but actually racing is even moreso. That looked more like the Amazing Sightseeing Tour Through Chile. I know she participated in some tri-athalons, but my money is that Granny came in last. Also, with Granny's admission that that one is her favorite, I'll bet Christmas dinner is going to be a little awkward this year.
Dectective Louie really does look like a llama. What do you know?
I can't figure out which is the gay brother and which is the straight brother. That is not good news for either of them.
How come the cows pooping was blurred out, but a beauty queen hocking a loogie is okay?
That kick to the head by the cow was no small thing....cows are BIG, and they pack a whallop. I've only ever milked a cow once, but as I recall, it's pretty intimidating to be up beside one of those things and poking around at it's lady bits. Good on Granny for bucking up. She looked in the confessionals like she had a bit of a bruise.
What on earth are the cowboys going to do with sailboats in Oklahoma?
I have got to find a way to work the words "and when your llama is properly adorned" into a sentence sometime soon.
I'm sure the Flight of the Majestic Condor segment sounded way, way better in the production meeting than it turned out. Can't you just see it? "And then they put on condor feet, and run off the end of the dock, and sail, SAIL over to the clue, just like an actual condor! It will be magnificent, trust me!"
I'm sure there aren't official rules against "saving spots" for other teams, but why would you want to? The unofficial rules of society mean that you are brewing up a whole lot of bad feelings onto yourself for very little payoff; allying with one team to piss off all the other teams does not seem to be a good strategy. Besides, in 15 seasons, I've yet to see an alliance that did not pay off big time for one team, and bite the other team in the ass.
I liked Granny and Granddaughter, but I'm not sure what they thought they were doing. Keeping positive and thinking happy thoughts is surely important, but actually racing is even moreso. That looked more like the Amazing Sightseeing Tour Through Chile. I know she participated in some tri-athalons, but my money is that Granny came in last. Also, with Granny's admission that that one is her favorite, I'll bet Christmas dinner is going to be a little awkward this year.
Dectective Louie really does look like a llama. What do you know?
I can't figure out which is the gay brother and which is the straight brother. That is not good news for either of them.
How come the cows pooping was blurred out, but a beauty queen hocking a loogie is okay?
That kick to the head by the cow was no small thing....cows are BIG, and they pack a whallop. I've only ever milked a cow once, but as I recall, it's pretty intimidating to be up beside one of those things and poking around at it's lady bits. Good on Granny for bucking up. She looked in the confessionals like she had a bit of a bruise.
What on earth are the cowboys going to do with sailboats in Oklahoma?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Amazing Race 16, Episode 1
Hello Race!
I loved that they made them take public transportation to LAX....I know loads of people for whom taking public transportation is akin to bringing the ring back to Mordor.
Will someone please tell Miss Teen South Carolina that when you come in second and get a penalty for not following the instructions, which results you checking in seventh, you are still "technically" in seventh place.
The lack of bickering dating couples and alpha male teams this season has my approval. (No one mentioned that they were "testing" their relationship, thank God.) However, the casting of people who have already been on a reality show, and Miss "the Iraq and Such as", may incurr my wrath. If either one of them pulls out a pair of water wings at some point, I am going to lose my shit altogether.
Also, I think that if you don't know the difference between China and Chile, you don't deserve to be on this. Also, Brazil is not "close enough" to Chile to use the same currency.
Thing 1 and I decided pretty quickly that no matter who did what Roadblock, there would be no yelling from the other party whatsoever during the task. The last thing I need when I'm suspended 120' over the ground is someone distracting me by screeching "you're doin' great, baby!".
I enjoyed the yappy dogs of Chile very much. In fact, that is my new band name: "Yappy Dogs of Chile".
Hands down, my favorite incident of the evening was when the father and daughter ran into that house and started painting. Hilarious, one of my fave moments on this race ever. Can you imagine explaining that to your boss?? "So, really, we were just finishing up for lunch, and then these Americans came rushing in with paint cans and cameras and just painted that wall really,really badly, and then they demanded some piece of paper from me, and when I didn't have it, they left. Don't worry, we'll fix it, but it will take a day or two."
You know when you see Phil coming to see you, it's never good news.
Until next week!
I loved that they made them take public transportation to LAX....I know loads of people for whom taking public transportation is akin to bringing the ring back to Mordor.
Will someone please tell Miss Teen South Carolina that when you come in second and get a penalty for not following the instructions, which results you checking in seventh, you are still "technically" in seventh place.
The lack of bickering dating couples and alpha male teams this season has my approval. (No one mentioned that they were "testing" their relationship, thank God.) However, the casting of people who have already been on a reality show, and Miss "the Iraq and Such as", may incurr my wrath. If either one of them pulls out a pair of water wings at some point, I am going to lose my shit altogether.
Also, I think that if you don't know the difference between China and Chile, you don't deserve to be on this. Also, Brazil is not "close enough" to Chile to use the same currency.
Thing 1 and I decided pretty quickly that no matter who did what Roadblock, there would be no yelling from the other party whatsoever during the task. The last thing I need when I'm suspended 120' over the ground is someone distracting me by screeching "you're doin' great, baby!".
I enjoyed the yappy dogs of Chile very much. In fact, that is my new band name: "Yappy Dogs of Chile".
Hands down, my favorite incident of the evening was when the father and daughter ran into that house and started painting. Hilarious, one of my fave moments on this race ever. Can you imagine explaining that to your boss?? "So, really, we were just finishing up for lunch, and then these Americans came rushing in with paint cans and cameras and just painted that wall really,really badly, and then they demanded some piece of paper from me, and when I didn't have it, they left. Don't worry, we'll fix it, but it will take a day or two."
You know when you see Phil coming to see you, it's never good news.
Favorite Line of the Night: Father and Daughter to the Chilean painters: "Are you here?", Chilean Painter in Suduko Shirt, gamely "I AM HERE!".
Also, Cop on the Ground to Cop on a Wire: "Nanna is kicking your butt".
Until next week!
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