We are nothing, here at the Loudshoes house, if not opinionated. In fact, our family motto should be "I think, therefore I'm right". No where are the opinions more violently defended than when it comes to food. Everyone has their rules, and we think the others are godlessly wrong.
1. I think that ketchup belongs on French fries and burgers, nothing else. It is such a sweet, all-dominating flavour that I can't taste anything else when there is even the teeniest bit of ketchup on it. The Mister puts ketchup on eggs, macaroni and cheese, french toast and grilled cheese, and eternally tries to get me to do the same, because, in his words, I am "missing out". On something gross, apparently.
2. Eggs must be served with a starch, preferably a toasted one. Scrambled eggs sitting lonely and neglected by themselves are sad enough, but they get cold faster, too. A poached egg with hot buttered toast, or scrambled eggs with fried potatoes is the way God intended them to be served.
3. The more colours, the better. I find it almost impossible to eat a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch if I'm going to have an orange right after it. And don't tell me it would be all better if I had ketchup with the sandwich, because we are not having that discussion. Now, if there were pickles with the sandwich, I might be able to manage it. Grapes instead would make it all good.
4. All 4 food groups with a meal, except with breakfast. I don't know why breakfast gets a pass, but there it is. But lunch and dinner should have fruit and/or veggies, a protein, some sort of dairy and a starch. Sometimes you can combine things, like yogurt covers two categories, but lets not fool ourselves and think that strawberry yogurt will do 3.
5. No margarine. Ever. I can taste that stuff before it's even in my mouth. And it's nasty. Also, no liver, blue cheese or candied fruit in my kitchen.
6. The Mister demands gravy with mashed potatoes, or at least some sort of saucy thing to stand in for gravy. If gravy is absent, then corn must be served. If you have neither, then you have no business serving mashed potatoes.
7. For Thing 1 and Thing 2, food must not touch each other on the plate. In fact, dinner is much easier if I just give them each three little plates, rather than one big one.
8. Things must be at the right temperature, cold things cold, hot things hot. The idea of cold pizza or warm milk makes me gag.
9. Milk and water are the only acceptable beverages with meals, for kids. (The grown ups are allowed wine, but we rarely do at home.) Too many eating out expericences where they drank a vat of pop before their meals came, and they were too full to eat. And wired beyond belief, too.
10. Brown sugar is the only acceptable sugar for oatmeal. (Thing 2 shovels it on in truly dire proportions. )