Amazing Race 19, Episode 4

I never did get to see last week's episode. Thank God for the internet; at least I got an idea of what happened.

Who knew it was so difficult to pronounce "Phuket"? At least if you are not in th e 6th grade? I'll bet the censors were tearing their hair out...."you're sending them to where??? You have the whole freaking world to choose from and you send them there? What the hell are you doing to us??".

We never did see the fall out from the Twins not having any Thai money. I wonder if that explains their taxi driver's glum expression when they hugged him; that guy looked like his dog just died.

I loved that wobbly pier! I could have bounced around on that all day! I'm kind of surprised nobody fell off it, though.

So, the Twins thought that setting up beach chairs was MORE like lifeguarding than setting up a coral nursery? Hmmmm. And apparently they had a guy that did that anyway. It would appear that neither one had anything to do with hauling lifeless bodies out of a pool. Few things do, really.

You know, if you are "kicking the tires" of your relationship, as Jeremy so charmingly puts it, I think barking at your girlfriend like she's a bad dog is one way to burn out the clutch, so to speak. I'm not sure there are many relationships in which "come here now" is an appropriate phrase, unless, of course, you do happen to be a bad dog, in which case you can go pee in someone's shoes to get your own back.

Tommy and Andy seem to be having a whole lot of fun on this race, which is more than I can say for most of them. Cindy does not appear to have ever had any fun in her entire life (unless, of course, it was scheduled into her Blackberry a couple of weeks ago, and she's allotted exactly 17.3 minutes for it.) Ernie isn't allowed to have any fun; maybe when he has earned it by mastering Portugese and can do his own dental work. Jennifer is too busy whining to have any fun. Justin is with Jennifer, so fun is out altogther. Maybe if Zac and Lawrence smoke a bit of Andy and Tommy's dope they could have some fun.

That greeter looked like a little Thai hillbilly! Did you see the size of him? Phil could have scooped him up and put him in his pocket! Actually, on second viewing, he looked a lot like the Travelocity Travel Gnome....Jerome the Gnome!

If Jennifer ever gave me that look I would punch her in the throat, no questions asked.

Until next week!