Apple of My Pretty Eye

It's apple season around here, which means it is mandatory to go out to a local orchard and get some apples, whether you want any or not. It's just what you do.
We took the Mister's 83-year-old aunt out to the usual place last Sunday, and although the enthusiasm for picking your own apples was high, we weren't able to do so. We just bought apples out of the bins. Just as well, the weather was horrible, and I did not fancy seeing the Mister's 83-year-old aunt climbing a ladder.

The Mister's favorite dessert of all time is apple pie, which absolutely baffles me...apple pie, as far as I'm concerned, is one the most boring desserts ever. (Plain yogurt at room temperature is THE most boring dessert.) I like apple pie okay, but I don't actually seek it out, like the Mister does. He's actually ordered it in a restaurant, when there were other things to choose from.

I did not make the Mister an apple pie, I made him an apple crisp for dessert that night, because apple crisp is way, way easier to make, tastes a lot like apple pie and does not make me loose my shit making pastry. (I can make pastry, only because I have a fool-proof recipe for it, and I don't have very high standards. But it's fiddly and soul-crushing and not something I take on easily.) He was very happy with the apple crisp instead of pie, and since no one else is particularly enamored of the stuff, he had plenty of leftovers all to himself. (Just to tell you, the last time I did make him an apple pie, he ate the entire thing by himself after I had gone to bed, and had such bad heartburn, he thought he might breathe fire. Really, I don't make pies for his own good.)

The apples have come in very handy for eating this week. It's been easy to grab an apple on one's way out the door, and I've been putting them in all sorts of things. A few years ago, I made the life-altering decision that apples are a vegetable, and everything has been considerably easier ever since.

Every apple season I allow myself this one indulgence: eating a big, juicy MacIntosh apple simultaneously with a Crispy Crunch bar...a bite of one, and then a bite of another. Seriously, it is about the only time in the whole year I eat an entire Crispy Crunch bar, and it makes me weak-kneed with delight. (I'm pretty sure you can't get Crispy Crunch bars outside of Canada, which is a pity. I can start an air-lift, if you like.)

Now, maybe I can figure out a way to make an apple pie with a Crispy Crunch bar baked inside! But then there'd be fights over the pie, and I'd have to make pastry, and presently, neither one of us has to share their dessert with anyone. I will leave well enough alone.