I took everyone's advice and sat myself down and ordered myself a bathing suit on-line. Why did I not think of this before? It is pure genius!! I ordered from Land's End on Sunday and my nifty new bathing suits came today, Wednesday! How happy am I? One especially pleases me; it's a tankini top and bathing shorts. It's fabulous....my dream of a knee length bathing suit gets closer every day. (You know those Victorian bathing suits that had sleeves and came down to your calves? I want those to come back like you would not believe. I would even wear the little hat.)
Trying on bathing suits in the kind and gentle environment of my very own bedroom is a gazillion times nicer than working up a lather of sweat and self-loathing in a florescent-lit changing room. (Why does the room get SO HOT when I try on bathing suits? It's like I develop my own weather system right there in withe me.)
I like the bathing suits well enough, as much as I can like any bathing suit. There's really only so much you can ask of a few meters of spandex and elastic, they are not going to change my Humpty Dumpty shape. I'm an egg-on-legs, no matter what I put on me.
So, thank you for all that suggested the mail-order strategy; I will never endure the Dementor-quality fitting rooms at Wal-Mart again.