Monday, July 4, 2011

No-Frills Follies

I ended up standing outside the No-Frills store for about 25 minutes this morning, waiting for the Mister to finish his errands and come pick me up. (And for the 1 millionth time I wished he would get a cell phone. He says he doesn't need one, a sentiment with which I would respectfully, but violently, disagree. I suspect he really just doesn't want me to be able to reach him 24/'s bad enough that we work and live together.)

And as I stood there, basking in the sunshine, watching the fish thaw and the milk go sour, I had ample opportunity to observe my fellow shoppers. (Translation: I was bored to death.)

  • There are lots of people with small children at the grocery store. Why grocery stores do not have ample public washroom space is beyond me....every single one of those kids has figured out that the way to liven up an otherwise dull shopping trip is to announce "I have to pee" smack in the middle of the dairy aisle. Because it is summer holidays and school is out, there were lots of children of various ages. Most were biddable and happy enough to go along on the outing, but there were a few (mosty 10 year old boys) clearly were going to make whatever adult was foolish enough to tote them along, pay. And dearly. I was glad I wasn't in their sights.

  • There are lots of elderly people at the No-Frills, probably because it is the cheapest grocery store in town. Some of them were couples, and a few of the men exhibited the same outward demenor as the above mentioned 10-year-old boys.

  • Many, many people are completely oblivious to their surrroundings. Like, to the point that you wonder if they have special needs or something. I saw one woman pull out a grocery cart from the Grocery Cart Incarceration Unit, and the stand right in front of it while she made a phone call, making every other person herniate themselves wrangling their carts around hers.

  • The No-Frills store is one where you put a quarter in a little slot on the cart, to spring it free of all the other carts it is handcuffed to. A surprising number of people offered their carts to newcomers when they were done with it, and opted to forgo getting their quarter back. I just loved that.

  • Apparently, at No-Frills, smiling, manners and exchanging pleasantries are all considered "frills" by the staff. I wonder if their job applications specify "must be surly, unco-operative and have a keen ability to display passive-aggressive behavior towards customers".

  • No-Frills makes you buy your plastic bags for 5 cents each. They say it's to encourage people to be environmentally friendly, but I think it's just a way to make money. Seriously, does the environment care whether or not I pay for the bag I throw my garbage away in? Anyway, this results in some people resorting to truly hilarious methods of carrying their groceries out to their car. I saw one guy fill his hands and arms with milk, produce and frozen burgers, and carrying a package of 48 rolls of toilet paper in his teeth. I'll bet if he had been an African woman, he'd have had a box of detergent on his head, too.

  • People buy a LOT of soda pop.

Finally the Mister came (they had had some sort of computer brou-ha-ha at Best Buy and he got all caught up in it.) and we went home speedy quick to put everything away. A morning well spent.

No comments: