On the Olympics

I think the Olympics are almost over. I really hope they are, because they are killing me. Despite having almost no interest in them whatsoever, I find myself strangely hypnotized by them, and end up staying up until all hours watching sports I've never, ever cared the least bit about in my life before. The twelve hour time-change means that I end up watching some race or competition until midnight or so, and it pains me that all sorts of stuff will be happening when I'm asleep.

Some Olympic sports are baffling. Too many of them sound like stuff we did at camp when I was a kid. If they can have badminton and ping-pong (excuse me, table tennis.) and archery as Olympic sports, then why not lanyard making, duck duck goose and, my personal favorite "baby food roulette", where the most foolhardy campers volunteered to be blindfolded and fed baby food and had to guess what it was. (I have still have nightmares about "baby food roulette", but it would make a wicked Olympic sport.)

What's up with the equestrian events? Does the horse even get the choice as to whether or not he goes up and over that wall? Shouldn't the horse get the medal? The horse probably doesn't want the medal anyway, what's he going to do with it? It was nice to see Ian Millar finally win a medal after 9 Olympics. I'd have given up after, say, my third or fourth Olympics.

Softball is apparently going to be dropped as an Olympic sport, because it's only played in North America. I never watch Softball, but it does amuse me in the fact that the pitchers all look like they're channelling Pete Townshend.

Why is it called "Water Polo", and not "water soccer" or "water hockey"? Don't tell me they used to play it on horses. Then they would really deserve medals.

Just watching the trampoline competition makes want to throw up. I was on a ride at the Western Fair once that juggled me around like that, and I've never gotten over it. I'll bet I looked considerably less elegant than those trampoliners, too. (Trampoliners? Trampolines? I'll just go with "Tramps".)

My brother-in-law thinks that all sports that require judging should be eliminated from the Olympics on the grounds that they are competitions, not sports. I don't think he's too far off, not because of the whole "sports/game" brou-ha-ha, but because anything that is judged seems to be so completely corruptable that there's really not much point in having it at all. Also, my brother-in-law thinks that sport that requires it's competitors to wear sequins is not a sport at all.

I take exception to hearing people say "we won a medal" in anything, because, frankly, "we" had nothing to do with it. I, personally, had no effect whatsover in anyone's winning a medal, because I was too busy sitting on my couch stuffing popcorn and Diet Pepsi into my mouth to be of any help at all.

The Winter Olympics will be in Vancouver in 2 years, and I will be baffled all over again.