Monday, March 19, 2012

amazing Race 20, Episode 5

That was an awesome episode; great scenery, teams all over the place, Jerome the Gnome and Brandon falling on his ass. Good times.

I'm not surprised at Kerry and Stacey's demise; everytime we saw a shot of those two it was when they were having trouble navigating. If I were Stacey, I'd be some pissed, because Kerry was damn near useless on this race.
I'm so happy now that those two have shown me that, along with gay people, deaf people, short people, one-legged people and B students, women (I refuse to use the word "girls") who wear pink-lipstick can do anything. I thank them for teaching me this Very Valuable Lesson.

I'm not sure how ugly a mud rail fence is, but I will take Mark's word on that.

Jesus Christ in a wheelbarrow, that Rachel is one green sparkly twit. "I don't even know what a beard is?" Come. On. Either she's too stupid to live, or she's punking us. And although I once had a co-worker ask me if Venezuela was in Europe, I thought most of the population had a better understanding of geography than to think one could take a train from Austria to Bolivia. (Maybe Rachel thought they were in Australia! NOW it all makes sense!)

I really don't like Art and J.J much, but I have to admit, they are smoking this race all to bits. They had an eight hour lead over Mark and Bopper at the start. And even with the bunching at the beginning and everyone catching up to them at the beard task, they still managed to rock that and get out fast. Of course, picking the right castle helped, as well as taking the horse and buggy up the hill. I really, really want them to get served a big ol' whoop-ass sandwich sometime soon; it's not much of a race if one team wins every leg.

Holy schnikes! Ralph has been married and divorced three times?!?!? And he's only 36??? How does someone do that??? (Unless you are Ross Geller, of course.) I don't think I've met three men I'd willingly share a car pool with, let alone marry. (And that's assuming I'd find three men willing to marry me.) If I wanted to get married three times, I think I'd have to start dating women to make up the numbers.....And I'm delightful. How did that lunkhead find three women willing to marry him? And wait, there's a fourth woman all lined up to be next! Mind boggling.

Just for the record, Thing 1 and I would have absolutely wiped the floor with everyone on the beard  thing. Finally, a task where being a hairdresser and a teenage girly-girl comes in handy.

When Vanessa said "I've never seen so much snow in my life!", Thing 1 remarked, "well, that's a nice April day in Canada!". (Exaggerating a little bit....we are having a record warm March this year. But we've had days like they showed last night here before in April!) Between the beard styling, the driving in the snow, knowing exactly with castle they were looking for and the gnome curling, this particular leg of the race was made for us; Thing 1 and I would have walked away with it.

Even though I was very tired very quickly of Vanessa and Ralph's bickering, I did love her a little bit for the "you couldn't care less" correction. One of my pettest of peeves, that.

I loved the shot of all the cows turning their heads in unison when anyone came into the barn. It was like "oh, visitors!". I would have had a hard time not yelling "moo!" when I saw those cows, because I must "moo" whenever I see a cow. (Just for the record, I yell "kitty!" whenever I see a cat, too. Drives my kids nuts.)

Favorite Exchange of the Night: from the Jersey Shore Boys...."My hat looks kind of flirty - it has a fuzzy tongue sticking out."........pause.....""I don't know who he's going to find to flirt with today."

I'm pretty sure that Mark and Bopper were yodelling the same song as the one the Mountaineer sings on "The Price Is Right".

Why is it that all of the non-couple teams get along better than all of the couples? 

Until next week!

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