Monday, March 16, 2009

Amazing Race 14, Ep. 5

What a bunch of cold weather wimps. At first I thought that the thermometer in Novosibirsk said -30°C, which is definitely ass-cracking cold, but then another shot said it was -4°C. Here in Canada, we start pulling out the flip-flops and fire up the BBQ at -4.

My List of Things To Master Before Going on The Race continues to grow, with "be able to run without passing out after 30 seconds" joining "Learn Chinese", "Learn to row a boat" and "Be able to make fire with wet sand and your own urine". (Oh, sorry, that last one was for "Survivor".) I already know how to drive a standard and say "thank you" in Russian, Japanese and Irish.

More drunken locals!! This is decidedly a new theme this season! Pity they didn't come to southwestern Ontario during the May 24th holiday, we could provide plenty for them.

The producers must love me, because PHIL IN HIS SKIVVIES!!! That was just for me, I know.
Christmas is early this year.

I'm glad the flight attendants aren't out, I hadn't realized how much I liked them until I thought they might be gone. They just put their heads down and get the job done; I like that. And the one that ran in her thong? She's some kind of woman, that one. Running in a thong isn't very pleasant, I imagine; Big Liver Girl did it once and said she thought she might have set her bum on fire from all the friction. (Thing 1 and I argued over who would have to do that Roadblock, because everyone knows I have no shame, but she would look much, MUCH better in her underwear than me. Plus, she would probably be able to run without having a heart attack, whereas me? not so much.) The two sisters are kind of whiney, they don't seem to be enjoying this very much.

Little Ballerina had a big booming manly voice, didn't she?

Best Line of the Night: "Any place that has that many consonants in it is not warm."

That third groom/soldier looked like he was about 14. Maybe he should have been marrying Little Manly Ballerina at his fake wedding.

I'm a little confused over Margie and Luke being mad that Victor and Tammy didn't wait for them. Isn't this the team that U-Turned Amanda and Kris last week, causing them to be eliminated? Isn't, you know, going ahead of another team part of the race too?

Those were some really strange looking snow plows. Like, Dr. Seuss snowplows. Those crazy Russians!

Next week: India! As we have seen in the past, India is kriptonite for Racers, at least one team just dissolves like the Wicked Witch of the West in India.

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