Monday, April 11, 2011

Amazing Race, Unfinished Business Episode 7

Ron was so over this race; or else he had some sort of hunger-based dementia on this leg. He seemed to be in a completely different area of the city from the rest of the racers. Only Ron could convince himself that the producer-placed holy men decided to take a breather and go for a swim. When did Kent turn into such a bitch? Apparently "I won't screw you over" actually means "I will turn on you at the first opportunity that is convenient for me". Gary needs a "Kent to English Dictionary". ("Dick" being the operative word there.) Also, Kenty, it's not the cab driver's fault you bonked your noggin. He's busy working, not babysitting you. I really enjoyed the return to Asthmatic Hamster Kent (last seen in Italy a few seasons back), where Kent tries to yell at Vyxen and it comes out all panicky and breathless. "Get out of that water right now" sounded like an exasperated mother of an sugar-crazed toddler. I think Vyxen was just as surprised as anyone else that that water was way deeper than she thought. Except for the guys on the bank; did you see that NONE of them even moved when she went under? I hope she gets some intravenous antibiotics and a metric tonne of Imodium back at the hotel....she's going to need it. Dear Anonymous Varanasi Cab Passenger, Not all North Americans dress like freaks and shout like banshees. Please do not think that the rest of us would demand you leave your cab, or wear circus costumes while doing it. Love, The Rest of Us Here In The West. I love Mallory. I officially love her. She is all kinds of fabulous, even if she does make me want to give her some Ritalin now and again. She seemed genuinely moved by the cremations on the water's edge, and she has embraced the culture shock of India (which had proven in the past to be Kriptonite to other Racers.) Plus, she sussed out Kent's petty little betrayal very quickly. I was delighted that she and Gary arrived at the mat before the Goths. Kudos to all of them, they all seemed to handle India without blaming India for itself. Can you imagine Jaime in that place? Zev, I don't have Aspberger's and I hate loud noises too. There were parts of DisneyWorld that made me feel like I'd wished I'd brought ear plugs, and I'll bet that didn't smell like India. The gang of buffalo thugs in the alley, mugging Justin for his hay was hilarious. I really liked the way Minature Indian Woman kicked the ass of those patty-makers. She used that stick to pull those ill-made patties off the wall like she's done it plenty before. The Cowboys have such a lovely attitude....they see their mistakes and then put their heads down and get the job done. Nice to see a team who does not snark on each other when things get tense. And you sure never saw either one of them jump in the Ganges. I like that they went half way around the world and still had to haul hay. I think the title for this episode should have been "Anorexic Santas". In fact, that is my new Imaginary Band Name! Favorite Line of the Night: "In India, when you push the gas, the horn goes." You know, at this point, I'd be happy enough with just about anyone winning this thing, except Kent and Vyxen. Next week: It looks like Gary and Mallory have to eat an entire veal. Until next week!

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