Wednesday, April 6, 2011

What I Learned From My Exes.

Before I was married, I treated dating like it was a shopping trip: "Those jeans look amazing, but they are going to cost me way too much", "I've never tried that on before, let me give it a go", "I'll be needing a receipt, because there is a good chance I'll bereturning this and wanting my money back". Dating is a complicated, emotional minefield; basically, you both are shopping for lifetime partners, and it's tough to be the one doing the browsing, and the one put back on the shelf. All the young men were nice enough, navigating that minefield as best they could. And even though I only married one of them, I learned something from all of them.

  1. You can learn a lot about someone by how they talk about their exes.

  2. A lump of cream cheese in your scrambled eggs makes them silky and creamy and unbelieveably delicious.

  3. CBC radio is awesome.

  4. If you don't trust someone enough to lend them your car, you probably shouldn't be dating them.

  5. Looking forward to spending time with your cat more than spending time with your boyfriend is not a good sign.

  6. Wishing you had brought your book on your date is also not a good sign.

  7. If he has a terrible relationship with his parents, one of the most fundamental and important relationships in anyone's life, he's eventually going to have problems with every relationship.

  8. Some one who thinks your parents are awesome, is awesome.

  9. Neither being the breaker-upper or the broken-up-with is easy.

  10. It is possible for two people in a relationship to have two completely different and totally opposite ideas of where that relationship is going, while being entirely ignorant of the other person's perception of said relationship.

And a few things I learned from other people's exes:

  1. Don't date anyone crazier than you.

  2. If someone continually says things like "I'm not good enough for you", believe them.

  3. Learning the names and birthdays of all the neices and nephews of the woman you intend to marry is unbelieveably fabulous.

  4. Finding out that someone has a shitload of debt is a big deal. The fact that they are ignoring it and telling you it's not a big deal is a way bigger deal.

  5. Sweet potatoes make a surprisingly good burrito filling.

  6. Jerry Lewis is NOT a comedic genius, no matter what they say in France.


Anonymous said...

What's number 7?

Mrs. Loudshoes said...

Ooops...fill in number 7 yourself.