Monday, October 1, 2012

Amazing Race 21, Ep. 1

HELLO RACE!! Nice to see you back.

What was with the Partridge Family bus at the beginning?

The really are trying to cast people who we can tell apart, aren't they? "Double Amputee Who's Been Dating Her Partner On and Off for Ten Years", "Monster Truck Champions", "Twin Sri Lankans", and of course "Gay Goat Farmers". (Gay Goat Farmers is a demographie that has been woefully underrepresented in the past.) Next time around they are going to be seeking out "Inuit Lesbian Poets" and "Honey Boo Boo and a Dugger Kid Who Turned Out To Be Gay" just to go easy on us.

Just to tell you, I am never going to be able to tell which one is the lawyer and which one is the rock musician.

I like the Chippendale dancers, and not for the reasons you are thinking. They seem very nice and sort of dim and really pumped about doing the Race. I wonder, however, what possible circumstance they could find themselves in where "slapping on the ol' collars and cuffs" would improve the situation? Lost in downtown Tokyo? Nope. Rolling cheese down a hill in Austria? Not really. Learning a dance routine in Bollywood? Possibly. Time will tell.

Why does the Monster Truck man have a green beard? The hairdresser in me says he needs a better toner on that after the bleach job. And I have to question the wisdom of having the little luggage on wheels. That might work for a quick trip down to Orlando, but running on cobblestones in crowds won't be very much fun. Besides, those things always remind me of stupid dogs, following you around like that.

Wow, remind me to never have a camera attached to any helmet...those things are hella unflattering. Everyone looked like they were a Seuss character.

Shreiking Twin has got to stop. It's hard to concentrate on anything (including watching your favorite show) with that caterwalling going on in the background.

I hope that little Chinese ping-pong champion doesn't speak English; she's bound to get a complex from all those people referring to her as "he". I did really, really like the sound of the frying pan hitting the ping-pong ball, though.

Oh, food challenges in Asia are always a delight, arent' they? I just wonder at the though process that went into "hmmmm, what can I do with these pesky fallopian tubes; it's a pity there are so many of them going to waste. I know! Papaya! Problem solved!"
Thing 1 said that your motto in Asia should be "Eat First, Puke Later". I think I'll get a t-shirt with that on it.

I'm surprised at how many people didn't know what an abacus is. (One racer said "why doesn't she just use a calculator?" abacus is a calculator, Einstein. One with the advantage of never needing batteries. I actually remember being taught how to use one when I was in early elementary school, and no, it was not in the 1890s. Some hippy substitute teacher who was probably a Communist spent an afternoon showing us how an abacus works. I don't remember much about it except that we somehow managed to have 30 abacuses {abacai?} in a school that regularly did not have toilet paper past March every year.)

I think they should have another whole Race where they only cast teams that were out first or second on their season. It would be nice to give them another crack at it. But who would want to be out first BOTH times they tried it?

Until next week!


Carolyn said...

Welcome back, Mrs. Loudshoes! I was wondering about the Chippendale dancers and the collars and cuffs, too. The one scenario that occurred to me involved selling hats, sunglasses, shoe shines, etc. to the public. I'd buy from them! I hope they get alot of air time before they're eliminated, for exactly the reasons you're thinking.
We must have attended different elementary schools. I think somebody might have shown us an abacus once, but as there was no demonstration included, probably had no idea how they work. Also, our washrooms usually didn't run out of toilet paper until April or May.

John O'Sullivan said...

Glad to see YOU back.