Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year!

The notion of a New Year's Resolution is largely useless to me, because of the irredeemable fact that I am as likely to forget that I made it at all, let alone keep it. But every now and again I make a point of resolving to do something or not do something, and it usually has nothing whatsoever to do with the calendar and everything to do with a near fatal accident or breathtaking lapse in judgement that renders me woozy with regret and muttering "I have got to stop doing that!"
In the past, I have sworn to augment my behavior with the following results:

Stop Running Yellow Lights: I realized, at some point in my driving career, that the odds were decidedly not in my favour any more, and some time soon I was going to sail through the wrong yellow light and either get a massive ticket or nailed by some idiot who was no better at driving than I was. I can't say it was particularly easy, but I now do not see a yellow light as a challenge to be met and conquered.

Quitting Smoking: I was a fairly dedicated smoker for quite a few years, but eventually even I could see that there was no way I could justify it any longer. I anticipated a struggle of biblical proportions in quitting, but I have to say, it was surprisingly easy. The yellow lights thing was way harder.

Not to Bitch So Much. There was a time when it was fashionable to sneer at just about everything and complain constantly to show just how much more hip and with it one was than everyone else in the room. That time was last year. Anyway, I did decide to make an effort to say less mean things and more nice things. At least out loud, I make no apologies for the shouting in my head.

Be Less of a Slob. Nope, I've been a spectacular failure at this one, especially when it comes to the car. (I tend to see our van as just one big purse on wheels, and it is a toxic waste dump, as a result). I'm still a slob, but at least I've come to accept my limitations.

Go To Funerals. My Good Friend Wendy has a policy, which I've adopted, which states that you go to every funeral you should go to. If you think "I should go to that", then you make every effort to do so. Nobody every says, "well, that funeral was a waste of time."

Cooking With Less Butter: That was a stupid resolution, and I tossed it out the window about 48 hours after making it. In an effort to cook a bit healthier, I decided to use less butter when cooking, but margarine is horrible and olive oil is useless in baking and screw it, I'm using butter.

Floss: I hate flossing my teeth. I have no idea why, it's not an particularly distasteful or onerous task, but I hate every minute of it. Do it ,I will, though, mostly to stave off those gargantuan dental bills we seem to be racking up lately. If flossing today means one less root canal tomorrow, then I'll buck up and do it.

Stop Reading So Damn Late Into The Night I have a terrible habit of going to bed and reading at about 9:30 at night, and then staying up way later than I intend to because I can't put the book down. (The last book I read "World Without End" by Ken Follett had me up until midnight every night for over a week, it damn near killed me.) The book will be there in the morning, go to sleep!

Write In the Blog Every Day Some days are better than others, but I do write!

Luckily, my life is such that my resolutions are usually small potatoes; at least I don't have "stop using heroin" or "get custody of the kids back", or "finish work on the grow house" on my list. If the worst thing I do all year is run a yellow light and use more butter than is absolutely necessary, then I think I can live with that.

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