Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Kibbles and Bits.

Sorry, I couldn't add a post yesterday because of some computer trouble. You know that annoying little pop-up that says "update virus definitions now"? Turns out that is important and you should click on it.

Not too much has been blog-worthy the past few days. After a couple of days respite from the cold, it's gotten icy again, and I am even more loathe than ever to venture out. The past couple of days were blissfully mild, and then last night it rained, the wind picked up and the temperature plummeted. Everything is encased in ice, the wind is punishing and it is hellishly, bitterly cold. Apart from the fact that I am almost completely inert these days, it is hard for me to even think about anything other than "Reasons Why I Should Not Immigrate To More Civilized Climates", let alone think of things to blog about. (#1 on my list? "Immigrating would require considerably more gumption than I am willing to generate right now. And it would require going outside.") So the following post is mostly the dribs and drabs of what fills my head these days. Thank your lucky stars you are getting the edited version.

Holy shit those Americans can drag stuff out. Are they ever going to vote for, you know, an actual election? Because these "practice" elections are never going to friggin' end, are they? I think voter turn out is so low in the States for presidential elections because everyone has died of boredom by then.

There is very little on tv these days, and although there were only about 3 or 4 shows I watched anyway, I do miss them. (Especially "The Office".....I've waited 3 seasons for Jim and Pam to finally hook up and now that they have? No shows.) There are plenty of filler shows you know they are broadcasting because they have a million of 'em saved up, like "Deal or No Deal", which is essentially dumb luck, or the eternally frustrating "Don't Forget the Lyrics" (no shit I can't remember where I put my car keys or what my postal code is; that part of my brain is full up of KC and the Sunshine Band lyrics, apparently.)
And, God help me, I found myself watching "Good Times" last night, which, if I recall correctly, was barely tolerable back in the 70's, and is even worse now. (Good Lord but those shows from the 70's are clunky and preachy. I'm sure they were groundbreaking and revolutionary in their day, but now they are just tiresome.) Once, when I was up nursing a baby in the middle of the night, I ended up watching "Green Acres". It filled me with despair and fear for the human condition, it really did. I also found myself entranced by a "Biography" of Antonio Banderas recently, and I realized I had better turn off the tv and pick up a book before I slit my wrists.

As I mentioned earlier, the wind was howling like a banshee early this morning, and it woke me up around 4 a.m. I hate the sound of high wind, and even with the ear plugs in, I knew I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep. (There is a big locust tree out back that hangs over the house, right above our bedroom. I kept waiting for that to break free, drop on the house and come straight through the roof onto my side of the bed.) So I went down to the spare bed in the basement to get a few more hours of shut-eye, but I had not bargained on Toby. Toby was at first, thrilled that someone had the good sense to be up during the night, and he was ready to party. Imagine his deep disappointment when he realized that I planned on going back to sleep; and it became his mission to thwart those plans by whatever means necessary. I put up with him only because I feared being crushed by a giant locust limb, but it was a fierce struggle there for a while. He was finally threatened with Kitty Jail (a.k.a. the laundry room), and he bitterly accepted defeat. I expect he will exact his revenge tonight.

On my way home from work today, I stopped off at the grocery store to get milk and Babybel cheese, of which Thing 1 has become completely enamoured. On my way out of the store, I vaguely noticed a woman in her late 50's or early 60's on her way in, who was walking towards my van. I was still a ways away when I went to use the remote lock to unlock it, but managed to hit the "lock" button instead, just as she came level with the vehicle. It honked, loudly, and it scared the shit out of her....honestly, I don't think I ever fully appreciated the meaning of the term "jumped out of her skin" before. She was NOT amused, and gave me one hell of a stink-eye as she passed me. It was all I could do to make it into the car before I fell all over myself laughing. Honestly, it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I should totally do that on purpose from now on.

Thing 2 came up to me recently, with a worried expression on her little face. She was a bit upset, because, she told me, that one of the kids at school told her that day that if you held you hand right up to your face, and your hand could fit right over? It meant that you had cancer. Thing 2 was a bit worried because she had implemented this very sophisticated diagnostic tool, and the conclusion was that she was going to die. I was able to assure her that A) that particular kid had the IQ of a carrot, and B) this is why we do not take our medical advice from 10-year-olds.

And this is life in the Loudshoes house this week.

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