I'm sure the stores that sell them get lots of returns on bathroom scales because they "must be broken, I can't possibly weigh that much". But I think I really do have a case here.
I went to weigh myself this morning, like I do every morning. Yesterday I was 146.6 pounds, where the scale has been stuck for the past four days, despite my zealous efforts to get past the 146 mark.
This morning, it registered 237.4 pounds.
I am reasonably sure I didn't gain, like, 90 pounds overnight, even if I did polish off a whole bag of Baked Lays potato chips instead of dinner.
I got off the scale, tried it again, and it said 146.2. I think I'll take it; 146 doesn't seem so bad, now.
From now on, I think I'm going to do this with my age, too. "I'm 97. Oh, sorry, I mean, I'm 46."
Like the weight, the real number doesn't seem so bad compared to the horrible possibility.
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