Friday, February 27, 2009

Toby In A Nutshell.

Things That Toby Hates:

  • When you hold onto his tail while he’s going downstairs.
  • Carbonated beverages
  • Hand sanitizer
  • Spray bottles
  • Chick peas (they sound and smell a lot like tuna, and he does NOT like being duped. It's undignified.)
  • Other animals. (You either have to submit to them or kill them. There are no other options.)
  • When somebody touches his paws.
  • Mocking and taunting, particularly when it involves his ethnicity.
  • When the humans sleep.
  • The shower. A torture box.
  • When he gets shut in the linen closet while taking a nap.
  • The car. Because no good ever comes of getting in that.
  • The vet. See above.
  • Vacuum cleaners. Thinly disguised cat dismantlers.
  • When a human is sleeping and they move. Very insensitive.
  • When large black garbage bags get waved around to open them up. Too much like a visit from the Angel of Death.
  • Canned cat food.

Things That Toby Loves:

  • Tuna
  • When the humans come home. Because they might give him tuna.
  • Summer
  • A box. Any box. Anything that looks like it might possibly be a box. Like coolers, backpacks, laundry baskets and grocery bags.
  • The linen closet, but only when the door is open.
  • The fuzzy blue pillow. It takes him back to his kittenhood, because he kneads and drools and purrs like a jet engine for an unseemly amount of time with that thing.
  • When I sit down to the computer. Optimum time to convince me of his devotion.
  • My earplugs.
  • When I get up. Almost time for tuna!
  • My singing. At least, I assume he loves that.
  • A good scratching.
  • When I change the bed linens.
  • Helping me knit.
  • Catnip.

No comments: