Amazing Race 14, Ep. 1

Hello, my Race, so nice to see you again!

That was a fabulous first leg! Deaf guy! Tiny little stunt men! Hillibillies! Ned Schneebly from "School of Rock"! And best of all, the eternal Bickering Couple Who Come On The Race To See If They Have A Future Together were eliminated first! It's all good!

The Bickering Hicks can go soon, too. Honestly, if I'm running as fast as I can and someone is yelling at me to run faster, my first instinct is not "oh, gosh, he's right, I should harness that ability to run faster than I am physically able right now." My first instinct is to sit down right where I am and yell obscenities at them. Their dynamic is rather painful to watch, and I'd rather not. And while we are on the topic of the Hicks, are there no functional, fit and gainfully employed Southerners that are willing to be cast on this show?

That cheese challenge was the funniest thing I've seen in a very long time. Was it just me, or did those "traditional cheese carriers" appear to be made out of styrofoam and balsa wood? The wouldn't carry popcorn and feathers without breaking, I think. At first, I wondered why they didn't just toss the cheese down the hill and let gravity do the work for them, and then I saw those things careen down the hill at Mach 1 like 50 pound bowling balls, and I figured that was the reason. You could break a leg with one of those things. Oh, and I loved the Gauntlet of Cowbells. More cowbell!

Favorite Line of the Night: "Don't let a cheese hit me." I'll bet that's a sentence he never thought he'd say.

That bungee jump was wicked. Props to the nervous blond who didn't want to do it...she just sucked it up and got on with it, no muss no fuss. I was impressed, considering that Thing 1 and I spent 10 minutes arguing why the other one of us would be doing that if we were on that race, and we were both almost in tears just talking about it. I loved the Stunt Guy doing it, "just another day at the office".

I'm sorry, but has being blond and pretty EVER worked in anyone's favor on this race? Ever? Because every season, someone thinks that this is an amazing advantage, and I've certainly never seen any evidence whatsoever to make them think that this is so.

I loved the yodellers, and the fact that the racers had to find them....too funny. And the irony that the deaf guy and his mom did it first is not lost on me.

Sigh....I love Phil. Him learning that bit of sign language made me all teary and melty, and he was wearing a sweater that I heart very much.

Until next week!