Ahhh, my race, she is back. Airport tension, bickering couples, lesbians and donkeys. Could they start out any better than this? I think not.
That was clearly the most satisfying first round elimination ever. Ever.
Anyone who uses "I tell it like it is" to justify their obnoxious, adolescent behaviour is just being an insufferable asshole, in my books. Plus, Ari seemed to be trying to hard to fit the "sassy, gay sidekick" role, and A)I'm tired of that guy, and B)he wasn't very good at it. There's a difference between being snarky and just being mean. (Just for the record, I am snarky.)
Let that be a lesson to you, Taxi-Karma is vengeful and swift. Do not mess with Taxi-Karma.
I'm a little mystified on the Goth couple for a number of reasons. They seem pretty affable, and fairly competent racers, but they seem a little....chipper for Goths. Instead of pretending to be angry, they seem to be pretending to be sad.
And, I'll be the one to say it, Kynt is Vyxsin's boyfriend? Really? Because, the dude has boobs. And likes to do makeup. And wears makeup. and, well, just look at him. I know I'm not supposed to judge a book by it's cover, but damn. When the book says "I'm a freak", I'm going to believe it. And don't get me started on the "kree-8-ive" name spelling, because that? is one of my all time pet-peeves.
Oh, for the love of all that is holy, can we stop with the couples who come on this show to "find out if they are meant for each other"? Here's a clue: you're on a reality show, who's purpose is to entertain people. It is not going to provide the couple therapy that you so badly need.
Nathan and Jennifer; he cheated and she's never going to let him forget it. That's pretty much all you guys need to know about each other.
The other one (Shrill, Whiny Dark Haired One, and Colin Farrell-look-a-like) You've been living together for three years, and he's not sure he wants to marry you? News flash, he's not going to. Not now, not ever. Any guy that claims to have "one foot out the door" is, well, Colin Farrell. Time to get off the pot. (And maybe an HIV test.)
I kind of like the brother/sister team, until he mentioned that they were smarter than all the other teams. Unless there's a roadblock involving calculus, I'm not sure that's going to be much of a plus for you. Besides, did you notice who's won this thing in the past? I'm betting that Jeremy and Danielle, from the All-Star Edition, are not members of Mensa.
Can we please declare a moratorium on female teams who plan to use flirting and feminine wiles to gain an edge in this game? Because, holy crap, I HATE THAT!! This is a game of luck and skill: eyelash-batting and hair-tossing have never proven to be advantageous. Besides, those two Bleachmongers are the skankiest, most botoxed, tightly clenched specimens I've ever seen. Did you see the Donkey Wrangler flinch when Booby #1 leaned in to kiss him? I think he actually shuddered.
The other two, the Firecracker Sisters from Miami are much, much prettier, but I hope they can drive a stick-shift and read a map, too.
Best Roadblock ever!! God, I loved those donkeys. They rank right up there with the elephants, and camels and oxes that have provided so much needed karma and comedy. The honking donkey nearly made me hurt myself laughing.
I cannot believe that nobody, NOBODY made one single "Shrek" joke during that whole thing.
(I'd have been all "in the morning, I'm making waffles", and laughing at my own joke and driving everyone around me nuts.)
Favourite Line of the Night: "If you make me lose this race I will cut you up and eat you."
Until next week!
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