Monday, November 19, 2007

Amazing Race 12, Ep. 3

This was a wonderful episode. If they had animals on every leg of this race, I would be one happy viewer. Cranky camels make for excellent television. On past seasons they have had donkeys, llamas, goats and monkeys that have all been hugely entertaining; keep 'em coming, I say!

I liked the sisters and would have liked to see them stay around a bit longer. The one who was milking had an excellent reply to the camel pooping, which was "This is what I get instead of milk?". That kind of attitude I am happy to deal with. On the other hand, I don't think I was ever going to tell them apart, and with them gone, I won't have to watch grandpa get his freak on again, which makes me very happy. Maybe giving the one team that was behind them a hint as to how to complete the task faster wasn't their best move.

Oh, Lorena. I hope you watched yourself tonight and had to put your fingers in your ears and sing "la-la-la-la-la" because you were so embarrassed and ashamed and mortified. Because that? was. awful. You fell on your knees and wailed like a Turkish earthquake victim who's lost her entire family. Over, get this, spilled milk. Perspective much?
Perhaps you would have finished earlier if you hadn't stopped every two minutes to shriek and screech and cry and look at Jason. (What, exactly, did you think he was going to do for you?) It might have been worth a shot, since what you were doing was clearly not working. Did you stop to consider that perhaps it was your horribly shrill squawking might actually be making the camels lactating organs shrivel up and die? No wonder dude has "one foot out the door"....I'd hesitate to make a lifetime commitment to that, too.
And, by the way, any mammal that is giving milk, is a female. I think she stopped giving you milk because she was offended that you kept calling her "he". Camels have feelings, too, you know.

And the "Ugly American Award" goes to the Botoxed Twigs, who seemed to think that the less than ideal conditions in Africa were put there because nobody cared enough about them to clean it up before they got there. Ick.
One of my favorite parts of the night was provided by their taxi driver. Even my 13-year-old, had enough sense to shout at the television "what is wrong with you two???? He's NOT going to give you the right change!!!". His chirpy "Bon voyage, merci beaucoup!" made my night.

One of the funniest things of the night was the various pronunciations of "Ouagadougou". Props to Christina who rattled it off without batting an eyelash.

Also, when Ronald was trying to explain the word "skyscraper" to the little African Fifth Grader, he started beating his chest and saying "you know, like King Kong". Dude, did you look out the window? Not too many cineplexes in the neighbourhood! I doubt the kid has had much opportunity to see ANY movies, let alone one which was made, like, seventy years before she was born. Besides, how on earth was that supposed to help her memorize "skyscraper"? Then, one of the twigs was trying to demonstrate "cowboy", by jumping up and down in her low-cut, off-the-shoulder, Flashdance hoodie and imitating a lasso. I think the kid thinks that "cowboy" is English for "silicone breasts".

Phil looked very yummy with his umbrella (every one sing! "ella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh") and unprocessed hair.

Greeter's baby at the Amazing Bathmat was awesome. I was a bit worried for both of them when the six teams rushed the mat all at once.

So, what do you think the population of Bingo, Burkina Faso, made of this? "A big, loud, smelly bunch of white people came to visit all of a sudden, they couldn't even milk a camel, for God's sake and then they shouted English words at us until we repeated them, and then they made it rain and then they left. Wonder what that was all about?"

I wondered how the Goth's makeup was going to fare on this thing, and I fear the answer is "even worse than I thought". Kynt's eyebrows were looking.....freaky. Which is ironic, really.

Best Line of the Night, from Jennifer: "Be gentle honey, you're handling nipples".

Phil mentioned the "local nomads". How does that work? Are they nomads but just in a designated area? Doesn't that just make them homeless people? Maybe that's how I will refer to the panhandlers near work.

Until next week!

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