On Rudolph.

When you have children you end up watching particular shows or movies over and over and over again. In fact, after you have watched a show for the bazillionth time, and you have memorized the dialogue and can repeat the entire story in your sleep, you begin to analyse and dissect the production simply to keep yourself from gnawing off your own arm in boredom.
Such is the case with “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer”, which will be on again soon. The next time you watch it, keep the following in mind.

Maybe it’s just a sign of the times, but the Coach and Santa and Rudolph’s family appear to be excessively harsh and punative when it comes to the discovery of Rudolph’s particular affliction. No politically correct namby-pambying here! The message appears to be Different=Bad, and I’m shocked at their casual indifference to their blatant discrimination. AND they totally get away with it. The Head Elf is no better. I think Hermy has an excellent case for a “Constructive Dismissal” lawsuit.

Why is the Dolly on the Island of Misfit Toys even there? She cries easily, but that’s hardly a crime. Maybe she’s there because she has a mood disorder and just needs a good anti-depressant and some therapy. Those downers she hangs around with on the island can't be much help; she should maybe get some new friends.
Also, as a kid, I’d have been thrilled beyond belief to get a toy gun that shoots jelly; I really don’t see the problem with that toy at all. Hell, I’d be happy to get one now.
And the Charlie-in-the-Box? Dude, change your name! I’ve heard of an identity crisis before, but come on, this is pretty easy to fix. I think he has some serious passive-aggressive tendencies here.

For reasons I cannot fathom, Mrs. Claus appears to be Jewish. She has a distinct Yiddish accent, and shouts “Eat, EAT” at Santa all the time.

Why does Yukon Cornelius always lick that ice pick? Does gold have a taste?
(The Mister has a cousin that used to be married to a guy who looked just like him, and it livened up family reunions for us no end.)

When they are on the Island of Misfit Toys and they are all having a pity-party and singing about their various afflictions, I amuse myself by changing the words. The part where the doll sings “Or even a doll that says “How do you do?”, I like to substitute “UP YOUR WAZOO!” for the last four words. Never gets old.

There appears to be a most cold-blooded murder during the closing credits. It's hard to ignore once you see it.
Santa has stopped by the Island of Misfit Toys to pick up all the inhabitants he previously ignored, back when he was a judgemental hard-ass. (Apparently, Santa’s been through a bit of sensitivity training, and all for the good.) During the closing song, we can see all the now-acceptable toys being dropped off to waiting children all over the world, from the airborne sled.
Now, when the Misfit Toys were singing “The Most Wonderful Day of the Year”, we were clearly introduced to a bird who can swim instead of fly. (How that is different from a penguin is beyond me, but anyway….)
The elves pick up a selection of toys and hand them some sort of floatation device, a parachute, an umbrella, something to aid them in their earthbound journey, and gently send them on their way. THEN the elf picks up the bird who we have already been informed cannot fly, taunts him with an umbrella, and then callously pushes the poor thing right off the sleigh to a certain death! And all with nary a change of expression. It’s bone-chilling, I tell you. You’ll never be the same after you witness it.

The next time you watch “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer”, you can thank me for making the experience much more than you ever thought possible. You’re welcome.