Sunday, September 30, 2007

A Good Time at the Grocery Store

From what I've written here in the past, you can be forgiven for thinking that I spend most of my waking hours at the grocery store. I don't; I just spend more time pondering the grocery store than most people would.

I went at around 6:00 tonight, a Sunday, and it was hella busy. Why aren't all these people at home in the cozy embrace of their families having a Norman Rockwellian Sunday dinner? Mosty because the population was largely made up of university students, and their families are long forgotten.

Whoever is in charge of the music at Loblaws could be my new best friend, because it rocked tonight....they played a goodly portion of the soundtrack from my teen years (The Cars, some Neil Young and even some Elvis Costello) My 20's was nicely represented by Michael Jackson when he was still good and before he got weird, the Clash and some Ramones, and then they played some Dave Matthews (who, if you didn't already know, is my "Rock and Roll Boyfriend".)
I hardly wanted to leave.

I spent a while mentallly listing the "Things I Thought I'd Never In A Million Years Buy":
1 Velveeta: plastic "cheese" which comes in a colour which nature never intended. I'm not from France and I'm not picky about my cheese, but no one is more surprised than me that I actually buy this stuff. I'm ashamed to say that I prefer the sauce this makes with broccoli than anything I've made with real cheddar.
2. Hamburger Helper. "Full of salt! And chemicals! and it's processed cheese food! I can make better crap than this myself!! " Then I had children, and so many deeply held beliefs fell by the wayside. What can I say? Things change.
3. Soy Milk Does anything say "healthy stuff is disgusting" quite like soy milk? Even the name "soy milk" indicates "there is nothing remotely fun about this whatsoever" But.....it's not so bad. Dare I say, I even LIKE it on oatmeal?
4. Melba Toast Much like soy milk, melba toast has all the trappings of dreary, dietary correctness, unmitigated by salt, fat or sugar. Having said that, I sometimes like it's boring, neutrality with cheese and soup.

There were two incredibly obnoxious around-twelve-years-old boys who were inflicting themselves on all and sundry at the same time I was there. As they careened the grocery cart around the produce section, slamming into displays and narrowly missing other shoppers, their mother (?) occasionally would waft a vague "cut it out" in their direction. This had no effect whatsoever on the two career criminals she was raising. By the time I got to the check out, the boys had managed to engage a second cart, whose main purpose, as far as I could see, was to present an obstacle for the first cart to overcome. This was accompanied by loud whoo-hoooing and trash talking and about as annoying as anything I've ever seen. I actually re-routed myself several times in order to avoid them. When I went out to the parking lot, it came to pass that the two young men had managed to crash BOTH carts into the side of their large, black SUV, leaving noticable dents in both the front and back doors. I cannot begin to tell you how satisfying in the extreme this was to me.

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