One of the (many) things I love about my job is that I have to opportunity to talk and talk and talk, most of the time with people who's company I would happily choose outside of work, too. Occasionally, I spend a half an hour chit-chatting to people with whom the conversation doesn't exactly flow without some effort, but we manage to get along quite pleasantly for the time that we have together. And then, very occasionally, I encounter someone who is so bizarre, I spend a good portion of the appointment wondering if there's some sort of practical joke being played upon me. Yesterday, I met such a young woman.
After a very brief discussion as to what she wanted with hair (most of which consisted of "yeah, I want.....you know,.....it's too.....um.....I had it cut a while ago and......it's just not......") she sat in my chair and announced she "just had to text someone, is that okay?". No problem, says I. (It is hard to put into words how much I hate people talking on their cell phones while I cut their hair. It's impossible to cut around a phone, I have to interrupt to clarify what they want done, they shout when the blow dryer's on, and it's rude. Texting's not so much of a problem; it's a lot like someone reading a magazine.) So she proceeds to text for the next 15 minutes or so. I can see over her shoulder bits and pieces of what she's writing, and after spotting " I deserve better", "hurt me so bad" and "never see you again", I'm thinking this is probably a conversation you should be having in person.
After a while, she finishes, and tells me that she's breaking up with her boyfriend (through texting) because she found out he cheated on her (more on that in a minute) and would I read it and tell her what I think. A nicer person would have declined, what with it being personal and all, but I jump right in; "you betcha" says I!
So I'm reading through her rambling e-mail, putting this soap-opera together, and wondering if I should tell her that "itsy-bitsy" has a hyphen and "penis" only has one "n", and giving it every single thing I've got not to bust out laughing.
It turns out that he slept, naked, in bed with another girl, and can't remember if he had sex with her or not. I don't know if I'd be dumping his sorry ass because of the infidelity or because that was the best story he could come up with. I give it the once over and tell her that it's just fine, and she certainly got her point across, and yes, she does deserve better.
Then she mentions that she called the other girl, just to clarify a few details. "Was that, like, totally psycho of me?" she says. "Hell, yes", I said " and don't do it again! Especially after you've been drinking!" (The other girl wisely chose not to return the call. Smartest thing she did all day.)
After a blow dry and a few minor adjustments to the cut, she thanks me for my help, pays the bill and tips me five bucks. "Thanks!" she chirps as she leaves.
Oh no, thank you!
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