Al Dente

We are generally a fairly healthy bunch around here; the Mister has had a few bouts with kidney stones, and the kids hardly even had any ear infections when they were little. Knock wood, I've had no ongoing problems, and I certainly hope that continues. But the whole premise goes out the window when it comes to our teeth, which apparently are made out of eggshells and Plaster of Paris. Himself and I, in particular, have the most delicate, fragile teeth imaginable. They are the dental equivalent of the Italian Parliament: despite the most careful of measures and heroic interventions, they fall apart at the slightest provocation.

Both girls have has some orthodontic intervention in recent years, and it seems to have gone well. At least, they don't look like little Austin Powers clones. They've each had one cavity, both in baby teeth, and I'm an absolute Nazi about brushing and flossing to avoid any more. Perhaps if I had looked after my own teeth a bit better then, I wouldn't be having so much trouble now.

I found out today that, despite spending $1300.00 (root canal and crown) on one tooth in the past year, it will have to come out anyway. What kind of cosmic joke is that? And I have to get a bridge put in. So, not only are my teeth falling out of my head, I get to have a false tooth too? A denture? When did I get to be 75 years old? I mean, I knew I was getting long in the tooth (hee!), but come on. This is just more than my dignity will bear; I thought I might have a few years between getting bifocals and getting false teeth. I'll be buying Depends and eating dinner at 4 in the afternoon soon. I'll call everyone "dear" and wear elastic waisted pants. I'll start carrying my purse in the crook of my elbow and totter. I'll get a hearing aid and turn it off when people bore me. (Actually, that last one seems like the only up-side in all of this.)

Did I mention we have no dental insurance? (One of the many hazards of owning your own business. Also, there's one more place where the supply of toilet paper is your responsibility, and when the alarm goes off at 3 a.m, they call you. ) The dentist, bless his magnanimous heart, has offered to put the money already spent on the tooth towards the new procedure, which I think is awfully nice of him.
The last time I had a tooth out it was a wisdom tooth, and as I recall, it was kind of painful. (Sort of like 'Britney Spears is a bit unstable'.) But then, childbirth is kind of painful, and I got over that. Sort of.

I suppose my dental woes are really small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. I mean, ask any hockey player; losing a tooth isn't a big deal. But it's my tooth, so it's a big deal to me. I suppose it still beats a kidney stone.